Where I come from, it is disgraceful for a lady to make the first declaration of love. In Africa there is an unwritten rule that men should be the ones to pursue women. Women are expected to play hard before declaring that they are in love.
Most men crack their heads trying to figure out if the women they are chasing are playing hard to get or are just not interested. Many men find women mysterious.
Women have been said to say something when they mean exactly the opposite. How many times have you had dates with a lady you are interested in, talked for hours only to go home feeling more confused?
Don’t you hate it when she sends mixed signals? Wouldn’t it be much easier for them to speak out? I imagine how hurting and distressing it can be for you to ask a girl out for months only for her to tell you “I have never been interested in you”.
A little homework on the girl’s behaviour, gestures, body language and her words would help in exposing what is in her mind. Below are five major signs that indicate she is interested in you.
1. Body language
The first thing to look at is her body language. It may indicate she likes you.
- Butterfly - This is about how a girl reacts to eye contact with the man she likes. Almost every lady I talked to identified with this. I remember Anne blushing when I asked her about Tom who I suspected she liked. This is what she had to say. “To tell you the truth, when he looks at me I look away and sometimes I find myself adjusting my chain or bracelet, touching my hair or even playing around with a straw in my drink. I wish he would know just how much I like him”
- The Midas touch- If she is touching you while you are talking to her, she is interested. At this point she is probably not playing hard to get. Grace says she cannot resist tapping Francis while making her point. She says, “I do not know how long I should pretend but I am dying to be wrapped in his arms. I look at his tight wide chest and I just cannot wait for a goodbye hug.”
- The Cheshire cat- If she smiles at you when you look at her, do not waste time. Get to her and strike a conversation. Chances are that she is very eager. Andrew says “I met my girlfriend at a dinner. She smiled at me every time I looked at her. I noticed that she did not smile at every man who glanced at her. I immediately knew she was interested in me and in a twinkle of an eye, I asked for her number and name. She is now the woman I am planning to marry.”
- Palm readers- Exposed wrists and palms are signs of openness and sincerity she will show if she is interested in you. This is mostly seen in girls that are warm and cheerful. In her subconscious mind, she will be telling you “If you want me so much, come and get me”.
- The leaning tower of love-This is not very common especially with African girls. However, it is evident in confident and aggressive ladies. If she is interested in you her upper body will be facing you. In essence she will lean forward and point at what she wants- your heart.
2. If she dresses up when the two of you are meeting and she's self conscious around you.
This too should not pass you unless you are a bit slow in your thinking. Everyone would want the person they like to see them dressed smartly.
If she dresses up for you, she obviously likes you and will come expecting you to complement her. When you tell her how great she looks she will downplay your compliment.
Cherono says she was always bothered by how she looked around Limo who is now her husband. “I used to giggle about everything he said even if it was not funny because I was too thrilled to maintain my composure.
When out on a date, I could just dash to the washroom just to powder my oily nose. I would blush at every compliment he gave me. Till now he still reminds me of these stupid gestures but I am happy that he was smart enough to read between the lines".
3. If she is excited to see you and she's is happy around you.
If you notice that she smiles or she's excited when you show up, know that she likes to be in your presence and by extension that means she likes you. If she is happy around you, she is interested in you and she is hoping you will notice her.
"Alice, my best female friend, is always hearty and happy when we are together. Although I have always admired her, I could not pursue her for the fear of losing a friend.
Few of my male friends had pointed out that she was in love with me but I was too stupid to notice. She started going out with another guy and I became jealous to the point of asking her why she never saw me as a potential lover," said Musau.
“I was always in love with you but you were too blind to see. Now I am already in a new relationship. There is nothing I can do about it,” she said. "Her words pierced my heart like a knife and I am planning to get her back," Musau said.
4. If she talks to her friends about you.
Girls will always be girls. They will sit and talk about ‘this cute guy’ they are interested in. They like to share their secrets and ask for opinions from their friends.
If you are constantly on her lips, you are on her mind. It is good to look at the behaviour of her friends. They will likely reveal it in their actions. If you happen to hear a rumour that she likes you, it is most likely true.
Nick says he first heard it from her girlfriend’s friend. “Maryanne was our mutual friend. She asked me how I felt about Mercy. I told her I considered her a friend but would be glad if it were something more than that.
She revealed to me that Mercy secretly loved me. I grabbed the opportunity and asked her out. After going out on several dates, I posed the question. Though she did not give an outright answer, she soon took the bait. She is now my girlfriend and we are happy," Nick said.
5. If she worries when you are in a problem and treats you in a special way.
This is not definite. You may have a female friend who is very caring. I have heard men deluding themselves with things like, “she smiled at me and told me that I look great.
I think she likes me”. Women are nurturers. It is natural for them to be loving and affectionate and that should not be misconstrued to mean they are in love.
However, if her caring heart is crowned by any of the above, she probably likes you. The truth is we do not care for persons we are not interested in.
Why would a girl care to ask you whether you have had supper? She is not your mother. Why would she stick up with you when others have left or when you are in difficulty? If she is looking out for you, she probably likes you. If she is caring, she will do anything for you and listen to whatever you say.
Bear in mind.
Girls depict these signs consciously or unconsciously. Do not walk up to her and tell her “I know you like me. I can see it in your face. You blush every time I compliment you”. Do that and you will lose her. She could be just shy.
Again, if she treats you like a friend, you are a friend and nothing more, so stop looking for imaginary signs that indicate she likes you. Otherwise you will end up chasing a girl who is not interested in you.
Remember, even if you see these signs, learn to practice patience. Be kind and ask her out at the right time. Do not be a jerk or a bad boy.