How and why women mark territories with men

People say it is easier for a man to take over a woman's territory than it is for a woman to take over a man's.

The most common tactics women have been known to use to mark territories in a man's house include leaving behind earrings, panties, toothbrushes and the likes.

Today, ladies have levelled up their game with surprising new tactics. 

To apply these tactics to mark their territories, many women have lately been opting for sleepovers rather than dates. 

Anita Baraza said she prefers sleepovers as it gives her a chance to assess the guy she is seeing. 

"I want to see his house to gauge his financial capability. His house will also tell me how clean and organised he is," Anita said. 

She said it is important to go to a man's house to know whether he is married or single. 

"A married man rarely takes you to his house. I always see it as a red flag if a guy never takes me to his house," Anita said. 

Anita said it is also important to know the kind of people a man lives with. 

Matilda Mwende, on the other hand, said she prefers sleepovers out of fear that she might be left to pay the bill after a date. 

She also finds it less costly to meet in the house than to go out on dates. 

"I also like privacy a lot. In a club or restaurant, there are a lot of people, leaving no room for privacy," Matilda said. 

Women said they don't just mark territories with any guy they involve themselves with.

If a woman is trying to stake her claim in your place, then she is very much into you and sees you as a someone she hopes to get serious with. 

After the first visit, a woman who sees a future with you may start leaving behind a few of her items. 

Some tend to leave strands of hair all over the house to make it known to anyone who visits that there is a woman dominating the house. 

When asked why they prefer marking territories by leaving their items behind, they said they do so in hopes the guy will think of them when they come across the items. 

"It also gives me an excuse to come back to the house. It might also be a good conversation starter once I get to my place," Anita said. 

They also mentioned leaving their stuff behind out of the realisation that the man is stable or rich. 

NEW TACTICS

But marking territories using items is highly outdated as women now have new tactics.

Now, some women go to the extent of befriending the boyfriend's neighbours, watchmen or caretakers. 

This is to help them get any information about their man while they are away. 

Cheryl said she once had her boyfriend's house help on payroll so she may be informed of any visitor who drops by. 

"Every time I would visit, I always ensured I tipped his help and bought  her clothes so as to bring her close to me for information," Cheryl said. 

Cheryl ended up finding the heartbreak she was looking for. 

After dating for five months, the house help started reporting the presence of another woman. 

"My boyfriend would lie to me that he is not around for me to go visit. I would reach out to the house help for confirmation, who started telling  me of a new lady paying him visits," Cheryl said. 

Another new tactic women use to mark their territory with men is by ensuring they leave him with a hickey on his neck. 

Nadia said she always ensures to bite the guy just hard enough to leave behind a hickey. 

"Every time we are having sex, I always ensure to leave him with bite marks on his neck and scratches on his back. I always leave evidence of sex," Nadia said.  

Men said they notice when women try to mark their houses as their territories with items they leave behind. 

Some men said the move smacks of insecurity and desperation. 

Allan Kisia said he's had women who leave behind their panties mostly. 

"She would hang her underwear next to my boxers," Kisia said.  

Once, Kisia was surprised to find his house rearranged by a woman he had left at home.  

The woman had moved his furniture and changed the position of the bed. 

"She had even started buying new stuff in the house. I never had a salt shaker but one day, I came home to find one had been bought," he said.  

Men also reported that women use the kitchen to mark territories in relationships. 

Though the kitchen has always been a woman's territory, men feel  women are now weaponising cooking to their advantage in relationships. 

Evans Jabali said his girlfriend goes overboard with the cooking. 

Jabali said during the weekends, his girlfriend cooks a lot of food and stores in it the fridge so he does not have to cook during the week. 

But he finds the kind gesture to cause a lot of waste as he fails to finish all the food in the fridge, leaving some to go bad.

He said eating the same meal several times a week also gets boring. 

"She found out I used to pay my mama fua to cook for me at times and that did not sit well with her. So she took over the cooking roles, but not the cleaning duties," Jabali said. 

Christopher, on the other hand, said his girlfriend never allows his house help to cook his meals when she is around. 

"At first I felt it was romantic. But with time, I realised it is like she never wants the house help around but she does not want to say it," Christopher said. 

In this era of social media, Bernard Ochieng said he finds being tagged as an attempt to be marked as someone's territory. 

He said it is not necessary to be tagged in every post by his girlfriend. 

"Some of us are not active on social media then you get a girlfriend who wants to post every tiny occurrence on her socials. Sometimes it is annoying. And I want to be asked for permission before a woman tags or posts me," Ochieng said. 

But men have also not been left behind in attempts to mark territories. 

Peter Njoroge said every time he visited her girlfriend who was still in campus, he made sure he had his deodorant spray with him. 

When he'd be preparing to leave, he'd make sure to spray her pillows so as to leave his scent behind. 

"The lady thought I was being romantic but I just wanted any other guy that would step into her house and share her pillows to meet my scent first," he said.