• Your sex life need not fall into a predictable routine
The scene is a graduation party for a friend who had recently graduated with her Master's. The guests are enjoying the sumptuous food and drinks and have clustered into smaller groups. I find myself on a table with three gentlemen, and we end up discussing about how quickly our love lives fall into a predictable sex routine and get boring.
Monogamy is NOT synonymous with boring sex. However, eating fried eggs every morning for breakfast can get boring pretty fast. But if today, you ate scrambled eggs, the next day boiled eggs, the next day poached eggs, you might even look forward to breakfast. I'm sure you get the drift. Your sex life need not fall into a predictable routine.
As a couple, it is important to admit that your sex life isn't as fun as it once was and agree to work together to reignite the spark. Of course, if you have been through any traumatic incidents in your life like stress, illness, erectile dysfunction or anything that can dim your sex life, it would be prudent to address them first and seek expert advice.
You might want to spice up your sex life if you are having less sex than before or not having it at all. We look at a few ways of how we can create more heat between the sheets:
1. Schedule sex
According to sex therapists, when you make room for sex in your schedule, it mentally and physically puts you in the mood and could actually be the missing link you've been looking for. It allows you to prepare and it also builds an anticipation towards it. Most people enjoy a sexy session they can plan and look forward to. We are living in a fast-paced world, and if we don't consciously make time for intimacy, we could slowly drift apart.
2. Get adventurous
Try something new. Take time to explore the different things that can bring back the sizzle. It need not be an expensive venture. It could be something as basic as sending the kids for a sleepover at your folks or a trusted friend and have the house all to yourselves. You can try having sex in a different environment or place. If you can afford it, take a weekend out together and rediscover yourselves. Do date nights to rekindle the lost romance. Try out scented massage oils and give each other sensual massages.
3. Try out different sex styles
You'll be impressed at how incorporating a new sex style can move your sex life from zero to 100 in a moment. You can check out different sex styles and see which one works best for you as a couple. Don't break your bones, though, trying to impress. The idea is to enjoy and keep the fire burning. Different sex styles target different erogenous zones and you can also adjust the speed, depending on desired depth.
4. Add some role play
Most of us have sexual fetishes we probably just keep to ourselves. Why not explore them with your partner? You are probably turned on by the idea of a man in uniform or a woman in a nurse's uniform. Why not have them dressed up in the attire that turns you on and let your sexual juices flow.
5. Toys for big boys and girls
If you live on the kinky side of life, you might consider incorporating sex toys to spice up your sex life. It would be more fun to go shopping together as a couple so you agree on which toys are appropriate for both of you. Most of those selling them are usually very knowledgeable, so you can ask as many questions as need be.
6. Share each other's sexual fantasies
Be open-minded and learn to share your deepest sexual fantasies with your partner. Granted, not every sexual fantasy is meant to be acted out, but sharing these intimate feelings with your significant other, either through talking or role playing, can open up a new chapter in your sex life.
7. Learn the art of sexting
Sexting is all about sending them steamy texts to let them know you think about them. Be alive to your feelings and share with your significant other. Let them know that you still find them irresistible and can't wait to be naked with them.
8. Add food to the mix
Food should not always be restricted to the dining room. Try licking some whipped cream off your partner's chest or body chocolate off each other's body. Be creative and alternate between hot and cold foods. Spicy foods and mint are also good options and can create mind-blowing sensations. You can also wade through some edible lube to spice things up.
9. Have fun together!
According to sex therapists, in some instances, keeping the fire burning between the sheets has nothing to do with the act itself. Why not start doing things together as a couple? You could go hiking together, take a road trip or try out new things together. Such fun activities shift the focus to each other, which can help to build desire and act as foreplay.
Cheers to more pleasurable between-the-sheets moments!
The Kinky Booth
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