• Men have so far been on the receiving end of accusations of gender-based violence
• However, society seems to keep mum or even mock men who are victims of GBV
Image: PEXELS
Just this past Easter Weekend, two major crimes were perpetrated against men. Servicemen, military men, men who you would think did not need protection… especially from women.
At Kahawa Wendani in Kiambu, a 37-year-old Private in the Kenya Defence Forces died after a fight with his wife. The woman told police the soldier bit her in the back, prompting her to bite back three times: once on his shoulder, once on his finger and on the right side of the chest.
Moments later, the man walked out, complaining of inability to breathe. The case is still under investigation. Most Kenyans were left wondering how one can die from being bitten.
In another incident, a woman who was walking in the streets of Nairobi past 8pm curfew attacked a police officer. The police officer stopped the woman to question as to why she walking in the dark past curfew when they got into a heated exchange. The woman is said to have jumped on the officer and bit his ear clean off before running away. The officer picked his ear and took himself to Nairobi West Hospital, where he is still undergoing treatment.
The news prompted a public outcry from men and women on Twitter as the hashtag #StopKillingMen was trending all weekend long. Men have so far been on the receiving end of accusations of gender-based violence. However, society seems to keep mum or even mock men who are victims of GBV. The fact of the matter is victims of violence should be treated equally regardless of gender!
I do not think of myself as a feminist. I believe the word is far too politically complex to represent my standpoint. Simply put, I believe in right and wrong. Readers might assume that I side with women when it pertains to GBV, especially after my heated discussion last week.
However, unlike the events discussed in last week’s column, which are gender-based violence against women who refuse to give sex after being spent cash on, this week we need to turn our attention to the matter at hand. The hundreds of men being mercilessly murdered or viciously attacked by women and not much is being done about it.
I do not believe one’s life is worth more or less because of gender. However, society amplifies masculinity to a point where men who are abused are regarded as pathetic and emasculated. This has led to many men suffering in silence at the hands of their female perpetrators. Whether these women argue mental health issues after years of abuse or self-defence, their actions are inexcusable. We hope the legal system will punish them accordingly and instil stricter, harsher punishments for committers of GBV.
Last week, I touched on the consequence culture, where in the digital world, anything you say can and will be used against you. A young woman found out the hard way that one should not make wild proclamations on digital platforms. The young woman, identified on Twitter as Terry Maina, posted a tweet on March 31. The post read: “Poison is not expensive, respect the woman who cooks for you.”
Maina might have meant it as some type of “don’t mess with women joke”, but the Twitterverse proved to the young woman that there are consequences to reckless statements. Both men and women rebuked her for her words as they argued that such thinking leads to murderous actions. Maina has since deactivated her Twitter account.
Maina’s words represents a misguided way of thinking in that women who suffer abuse should do anything to protect themselves, including killing the other person. Murder is not justification for self-defence. Murder is barbaric, unjustifiable and criminal. I, like many who believe there is a biased outlook on GBV, am calling on women’s organisations, feminists and women’s groups to call out gender-based violence against men.
If we need to have a proper discussion on how to tackle GBV, then we must put our differences aside, come together and address GBV from both the male and the female perspectives.
Edited by T Jalio