• We alter our traits to help us fit into social groups, but can now be ourselves
Image: PEXELS
Unlike some African countries that are experiencing the global pandemic that is Covid-19 or coronavirus disease, Kenya has not gone into total lockdown. However, self-isolation and social distancing are required of all Kenyan citizens at this time. Moreover, with the 7pm-5am curfew implemented since last Friday, most Kenyans are finding themselves more and more withdrawn from social circles.
Unfortunately for us, humans are a social people. Kenyans are especially community-oriented people, who thrive in social gatherings. We are used to coming together as family or friends; eating, drinking, having chama meetings or even gossiping.
Other than the 07-08 post-election violence period, Kenyans have not experienced an uncertain time like this before. Being forced to stay away from loved ones and the outside world feels like a punishment. With social distancing, we have come to appreciate the little things we could do freely pre-corona outbreak. Even being squeezed in a matatu does not sound too bad now…
Alas! We are stuck indoors, either with squabbling families or completely alone. But whichever way you look at it, this time is crucial to reconnect with the self. Cambridge English dictionary defines self as a ‘set of characteristics, such as personality and ability, that are not physical and make a person different from other people’.
However, in today’s interconnected world, how many of us choose to be different? We find some sort of camaraderie in social groups that we alter our traits to help us fit into. The idea of self is not absolute; as humans are social beings, we see ourselves as others see us. We see ourselves as reflected in the backdrop of society. We lose touch with our true selves in the blur of everyday practices.
In a way, we should be grateful for this time we are spending in isolation. Solitude is not the synonym for loneliness. There is an unacknowledged significance to solitude. Solitude allows us to reconnect with our true selves. To see ourselves as we are without external influences. Only without the noisy distraction of everyday life can we hear the deepest thoughts from our inner voice. We can reconcile the mind, body and spirit and restore ourselves to a balanced place.
This time spent in isolation is forcing us to confront our true feelings about our lives and ourselves. We can no longer hide behind the façade of social media filters and hashtags that make our lives look ‘bomb AF’. We cannot use geolocation tags to prove how worldly we are. And the fact is we do not need to snap a picture of every meal we eat.
Social media users seem to be having a blast calling out those who use social media platforms to flaunt their make-believe extraordinary lives. How will the ‘influencers’ survive without posting pictures of places they go to? How will sugar babies live without financial support from the sponsors, who are too busy providing for their families in these uncertain times? In essence, we all live an alternate lifestyle online than we do in real life. We act differently on social settings than we do by ourselves.
Our days are often dictated by external social factors, such as dressing to impress or spending a lot of money hanging out at high-end places with friends. The truth is, given a choice, we would rather be stuck doing things we do not love in a social setting than be stuck home alone.
If we use this time wisely, it will allow us a chance to introspect and help us rediscover ourselves. Ask yourself questions that will help you reconnect with your true self. Who am I? How does being alone make me feel? What lessons have my past taught me? How happy am I right now? What food do I like? What is the first thing I would do post-corona outbreak? Am I living my life’s purpose? How often do I compromise to please others? Do I enjoy my own company? Can I be better?