In the process of prowling for long-term love, different people follow different dating rules. Here are some rules currently making the rounds in Kenya. Can you relate?
I follow the 90-day rule!
In order to get “benefits” you first need to prove your worth. Steve Harvey introduced this concept in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Harvey got a job at a Fortune 500 company and before he was eligible for employee benefits he had to work for three months. He believes the same approach works for dating: “You are not a plaything someone to be used and discarded. It tells him that what you have – your benefits [sex] – are special, and that you need time to get to know him and his ways to decide if he deserves them.”
Hands off my status!
Since we are one of Africa’s top three users of Facebook and Twitter, we need to be careful in not updating our status too quickly. Don’t pour out your sexual laundry online. Not everyone wants their business known. So don’t pressure your beau to do so. Give it at least two months before you drag them into clicking on “In a relationship”. Otherwise you risk a “It’s complicated”.
Stay quiet about my conquest tally
We live in a world where there is pressure to show off that you are a stud. But just because you have been around doesn’t mean you need to share this with your partner. If you are asked, you can make a joke of it: “I have had more than mother Theresa”, for example. We are all human and like to feel like THE ONE (even if we know we are not).
I must pack protection
Whether it is a one night stand or a long-term relationship, condoms are a MUST . So ladies, carry condoms with you. Brothers, you need to come packing as well. Anyone who likes it bila juala, isn’t worth being with.
I got to stay positive
So what do you do if he’s doing something sexual that isn’t doing it for you? Gently guide and nudge him into what does work for you. Abuse in the heat of the moment will just throw your partner off.
Remember my place
Don’t bully your beau! We may be “bumping uglies” but don’t begin to force your way into his or her family. Showing up uninvited at family functions and trying to win the family over is a no-no. Ease into each other's social circles at a pace that is comfortable to both of you.