Diary,
Remember Wangui? The wiry lass I grew up with back in the country? The same girl who has now grown into a bombshell, giving countless men sleepless nights? Well, she’s back in my life.
Out of the blue, I get a phone call from a number I don’t recognise.
“Yes,” I say. “This is Dr Tom.”
“Tom! I’m so glad to hear your voice.”
“I’m sorry, but do I know you?”
“Of course, you do. Not in the biblical way, of course. Although I tried hard enough, won’t you say?”
Once we circumnavigate her hide-go-seek shenanigans, she identifies herself. “I lost your number and had to get it from Mum.”
“But I never gave you my number. Wait, your mother has my number?”
“No, silly. Your mum! She still holds out a candle for us. For our love.”
“I think you have that idiom all twisted,” I say with a shake of my head. “How may I be of help, Wangui?”
“You can marry me.”
“Besides that, of course.”
“No, I mean it. Why not let the universe decide.”
“I don’t follow.”
“I believe fate wants us to be together till the end of days, but you’re too learned and learned people think with their heads and not their hearts. So, I was thinking, why not leave it to fate?”
“Why do I feel like I’ve been entered into an endless verbal marathon?”
“There’s no such thing as an endless marathon. Every marathon has a beginning and an—”
“Will you get to the point? Please.”
“Okay, Mr Impatient. I’ll make you a deal. If Morocco wins the World Cup, we get married. If they don’t, I bite the bullhead and marry Mogotio.”
“It’s bite the bullet. And what’s so wrong about marrying someone who loves you?”
“He snores so loudly I can hear him from my house. And he lives in the next village over. What do you say, Tom? We celebrate history in our honeymoon suite in Nyahururu.”
“You want to drive 20 kilometres from home for your honeymoon? Whoa! What am I even saying? I don’t want to get married under any circumstances, historic or not.”
“Well, too bad. Lots of folks will be disappointed.”
“What do you mean?”
After a long beat she says, “I kind of crossed the gun and told everyone here that you already agreed to this deal.”
“It’s jumped the gun, not crossed… Whoa! Wait one goddamned minute. You told everyone what?”
