• Teenage sex bomb leads bachelor on a wild goose chase
Diary,
I’m getting too old for this dating game, and it doesn’t get worse than when a 19-year-old sweet-talks me into believing I’m still a young cat.
It all started with a chance meeting at the hospital cafeteria. I was on my lunch break when she walked in looking good enough to be on the menu. Although the place was almost empty, she asked if she could sit at my table.
“It’s a free country,” I said. “Though, I must say, you have choice of nearly every other table in the place.”
“No other table has an Artemis sitting at it.”
I smiled. “The Greek god? You’re good, very good. So, what does that make you, Athena?”
“The goddess of wisdom? Nah.” She extends her hand. “Nice to meet you, Artemis. My name is Aphrodite.”
She really was good. “Is this going where I think it’s going, or am I reading the wrong signals?”
“Depends. Do you see it ending up between silky sheets?” She frowned. “You do have silky sheets, don’t you? I’m allergic to cotton.”
She stood up, slid a scrap of paper across the table and left. Two days later, I called her.
“Can you come pick me up at home?” she asked.
Of course I’d pick her up from the moon. I called once I got outside her folks’ place. “Please, come wait inside. There’s a glass of cold juice on the table for you. I’ll be ready in a minute.”
I was sipping juice on the couch when an old grandma walked in wearing nothing but blue silky lingerie. She struck a sexy pose by the door and stuck out a tongue at me. “You must be Artemis. I’m your Aphrodite. Come get some. Grrrrrr!”
“What?”
She struts over to the couch. “How do you like my dress? It’s silk cos I’m allergic to cotton.”
“Where’s… where’s the other girl? The one I was talking to.”
Grandma shook her head. “Nala? She doesn’t live here, stupid. Your date is with me.”
Let me say the day ended up being quite interesting. Still, I’m getting too old for this dating thing.