She had had her worst day yet at the office after being sacked for something that was beyond her control. A visit to the bar for one or two to calm some nerves isn't uncommon but to Grace Nafula, 32, a counselor, it was a day that changed the rest of her life.
She recalls sitting at the counter and ordering a whole bottle of wine because one glass wouldn't cure her sorrows.
The night was going on pretty well when this fine gentleman came and sat next to her. He picked up a conversation and he began pouring his heart out to her. His wife had deserted him taking everything from his house. Grace thought she had found a confidant, a man wounded like she was and she poured all her sorrows to him as she poured a glass after glass of wine. She woke up the next day at an abandoned house in Kiambu naked and with a headache from hell. She was now a statistic, a victim of date rape through alcohol. She is now changing young girls lives counseling them after rape ordeals.
Date rape also known as acquaintance rape is nonconsensual sex either with a person who is unconscious or asleep. According to a US survey, one in four college women is date raped or experiences an attempted date rape case. The target mostly is women between ages 16-24. In general, 74% of the attackers and 55% of the victims will have been drinking alcohol when it happens.
In a startling exclusive done by Caren Nyota a writer on the entertainment website Mpasho, it was revealed that a date rape drug, Stilnox, commonly referred to as “mchele”, is widely used by perpetrators of rape, in Kenyan clubs and entertainment hot-spots. The unconscious men or women will be subject to one of two things: date rape or robbery.
“Mchele” reacts with hard drinks like whiskey or vodka but the “unga” version is used to put in your beer. Doctors say you can go into a coma if taken in high doses and with liquor.
The worldwide date rape drug is known as Rophynl which is a prescription sleeping tablet but there are other drugs including Ketamine, GHB, Benzodiazepine and Scopolamine. The availability of the drugs over the counter, have made the crime prominent. They come in the form of pills, liquids or powder while some of the drugs for example Scopolamine can be administered through shaking hands. Date rape drugs may some time have drastic effects such as death but the most notable effects are feeling drowsy, slow heart rate, nausea, losing count of time and extreme cases of memory loss. The drug will most often have no smell or taste and is lethal when administered together with alcohol.
A number of Kenyans can account to knowing a story of someone who has been a victim of date rape. You either know someone or you have been a victim or seen a story in the media. Are there ways we can arm ourselves to prevent falling victims to such atrocities. How do you avoid date rape?
1. Do not meet in secluded areas
Bill Cosby has allegedly been a date rape perpetrator. He has been accused by several women of raping them by administering a date rape drug either in wine or in form of painkillers. Actress Barbra Bowman confessed in 2014 to be one of the victims of Cosby's Bill Cosby has not been charged with any of this alleged cases.
All the women accusing Bill Cosby had one common in their story, they went to his house. If you are meeting someone you do not know really well avoid secluded areas. Perhaps you have met this wonderful man in your online dating search and if you need a plan for a first date avoid secluded areas such as houses or trips.
2. Do not go home alone with someone you just met
Gentlemen, before you throw stones, i understand that you say that agreeing to go to his house after a night out is consent for sex, but to ladies it is not. You charmed her into the most interesting discussion she has had in a while, bought for her drinks, danced with her like a true gentleman and since you already established a good rapport, you ask her to go with you home promising to drop her at hers in the morning. She is willing because after all isn't that a sign from heaven, who knows when manna will come.
Barbra 25, a marketing assistant says she almost fell victim to date rape in 2012. She recalls the incident really well and she met this certain celebrity online and they started chatting on twitter. When he invited her over to his place, she didn't object since one he was a celebrity two, they had established a relationship. The guy was very adamant that she drink something either wine or water, the whole time he was making sexual advances. The situation didn't feel right so she switched up the wines when the guy wasn't looking. The guy became violent as soon as his head started feeling drowsy. She ran out of his house immediately he became unconscious.
2. Information is power, research about these drugs
David Mwangi a gym instructor says he was almost a victim of date rape but it never got to happen. "I went to a famous club on Baricho road and after drinking 3 beers my head started feeling a bit heavy, i got a little concerned because normally i would take like 10." David says that he went to the toilet and left his drink unattended with a pretty lady he had met at the club. “I have heard enough 'mchele' stories so I decided to call my cab guy immediately.” He doesn't recall what really happened afterwards but he remembers leaving the club and walking to the cab and the lady following closely behind and begging him to stay a little longer as the night was still young. He blacked out on the sofa with his house door wide open only to wake up the following day at 3pm throwing up. His sofa was covered in vomit and he felt sick for days and only stopped throwing up 3 days later. He says he is one of the lucky few who left immediately he felt fuzzy otherwise it would have been catastrophic.
3. Avoid taking drinks from strangers
Ladies fall victim to this trick more often than men. You have been really looking forward to going out yet you do not have money but you still find yourself at the club hoping that a true gentleman will buy you some. The date rape assaulter's have perfected their art they can tell from across the bar a lady they can take advantage of. In the tablets of death interview on mpasho, one prostitute confesses that they mostly use the pill in your alcohol method to lure victims.
4. Do not shake hands with strangers
In an investigation carried out by Kenya Forum in 2012, Emma a 21 year old college girl woke up in a guest house in Nairobi and realized she was a victim of date rape. Beside the bed lay a sh 1,000 note and a brief note saying,"you can use that for your transport" The only thing she remembers from that night was shaking hands with a man as she was headed to the toilet. Her attacker probably used the Scopolamine drug that is passed on to the target through a simple handshake. She experienced all the symptoms associated with ingesting the drug. She was suffering from a bad case of memory loss and a rape story. It is very queer when a random person gives you a handshake, ignore it if you must.
5. Trust your instincts
Our instincts are the first basic step that help us avoid danger. If you are with someone who makes you very uneasy and leaves you feeling suspicious trust your gut something maybe up . A rapist doesn't walk around with a tag on his neck declaring that he is about to commit such atrocities. She/he will come as the sweetest angel you have ever met. He knows how to woo and pull all the right strings. Jane 22, a university students narrates her horrible experience amid tears. She was a victim of date rape and worse she kept mum about it. She was at a famous night spot with her friends in Lang'ata and she remembers a certain man trying to talk to her and she had this nagging feeling at the back of her head. Just like Emma, Jane went to the toilet and doesn't remember anything from that night. Jane would really love to solve the mystery of that day because when she came to it she was walking at a dark alley near the club and her friends had been looking for almost three hours. She has a two year odl boy to show from that incidence. Although her baby is her world she wishes she had followed her instincts and ignored that man.
No one plans to be a victim of rape and if it does happen you are wounded for life. If you are a date rape victim, do not be silent about it and suffer the results of the trauma alone. The Center for Gender Violence at Nairobi Womens Hospital helps affected women.