BIG BUM CRAZE: Bizarre things women do to get a well-rounded figure

BIG BUM CRAZE: Bizarre things women do to get a well-rounded figure.
BIG BUM CRAZE: Bizarre things women do to get a well-rounded figure.

Despite the evolution of man, one trait has managed to stand the test of time; the inability of man to resist the temptation of staring at a curvaceous woman. The power associated with having a well-rounded figure cannot be overlooked especially in the African setting.

In a land where the only qualification for one to be referred to as a ‘true African woman’ and hence beautiful is the woman’s figure more importantly the lower half of her anatomy; women are willing to try anything just to be labelled as such. The methods vary according to the geographic location, financial situation and beliefs, but one thing is evident when it comes to a woman’s behind, bigger is better and women are willing to go to great lengths for a little enhancement. Some of the things women are doing in their quest for more 'junk in the trunk' will shock you.

Fish oil

It appears that fish oil is not only for those who want to be healthier, but also for those who seek to be overwhelmingly blessed in more than just their health status. The belief is that the fatty acids in the fish oil are absorbed and hence utilized to give a plumper look.

Lillian, a 38-year-old housewife who says the secret has been passed down their family for generations explains, “We must have fish at least three times in a week. I usually boil the fish then pour the water in a separate container. I then mix this oily water with the remains of the fish meal and apply it around my bottom. I then take a bath to rinse it off."

On asking whether her husband was aware of her ‘beauty regimen’, she simply smiles and says, “It’s a family secret and as long as it works, I don’t think he would care.” Coming from a long line of full-figured women, one could say that it does indeed work yet another person would argue that perhaps it’s just their genetic makeup.

Food flavouring cubes

If the fish oil was strange, then this is simply bizarre. For some women in DR Congo placing maggi cubes, an ingredient used to add flavour to food seems to be the answer to their apparent anatomical deficiency. Thinking that these cubes have many nutritional constituents, these women insert the cubes into their anal canal in order for it to directly aid in their quest for rounded behinds. Yes, you read that right. Now let’s take that in a Kenyan context, your wife or daughter or sister goes to the supermarket, buys five Royco beef flavoured cubes, she uses three to make dinner and the other two she stashes away in hope of adding more beef to her gluteal area. Of course, it’s neither sane nor safe as Dr Moses Obimbo, a gynecologist with the University Of Nairobi School Of Medicine explains, “The risk associated with such practices are great and could lead to serious infections which if left untreated could be life threatening.”

Padding in many forms and colour

Many have heard of and are aware that some women get some assistance in the form of padding that gives them that larger curve. What people don’t know are the different types of padding and just what goes on beneath those nicely fitting jeans. The first and probably the most common are the padded panties. You walk into the shop, pick a pair that has some padding and depending on the material used and size, you part with anything between Sh1,000 and Sh3,000. In turn you walk out with a nice, round, firm padded panty that you can wear anytime you want to turn a few heads. If you aren’t too sure that the panties will go well with your clothing, you have the option of buying jeans with butt enhancers or extra padding sewn in, all you have to do is pick one that fits. And if you aren’t so keen on purchasing the panties and jeans aren’t your preferred choice of attire, do not despair as you can stick your behind on and go (literally). The product advertised online under the catchphrase ‘stick and go’ is simply just that, a silicone pad that you can stick on your behind and as long as it’s the right size (subjective) and placed right, you simply dress and go…swaying your now larger behind as you go. Finally, there is the more hands on approach for those whose pockets can’t allow one to purchase the above products or for the extremely ambitious who feel none of the products achieve a satisfactory effect, you can simply make your own padding. All you need is foam or any material that is used as filler for example in pillows and with a creative mind reinforced with a burning vision, you are good to go.

Pills

In this day and age, not only is there a tweet in regards to anything under the sun, there is a pill that claims to fix whatever ails man physically. Naturally, there are numerous pills that apparently enhance your ‘hip and behind’ and that’s not all, they do so all within four weeks or so the advertisement claims. Numerous as they are, some do standout, take for example the “bovine ovary pills”. In case you hadn’t guessed, these are pills made from ovaries of cows. Now the science behind it is that they work as a form of glandular therapy hence forcing your body into a state of pseudo-puberty where there is a surge of hormones for the sculpting of a more feminine form or better yet a more ‘African woman’ form. The pill itself doesn’t enlarge your assets but simply gets your body to do so. But here’s the thing, an advertisement cannot be taken to be a doctor’s word. Perhaps the first step ought to be to see a doctor before taking a pill…any pill at that.

Diet plans and customised exercises

Just as it is with the pills, in this age there’s a diet that is supposedly tailored to meet your needs and get you results guranteed. In the same way you can be assured that there is a ‘type of food’ that someone somewhere says is good for this or that. In this case, Maca is one such food product. It is a member of the radish family whose properties are harnessed into powder form and the concept behind it is that it stimulates hormone production. Then there is the herb root known as Pueraria mirifica from Thailand that one can buy online for it to be delivered to your doorstep. However if you are skeptical, several diet plans are available rich in carbohydrates. However, a more rational approach would be try exercised focusing on the gluteal area.

The creams

Apparently, it’s no longer “peaches and cream” but pills and creams. Often are times that the pills act as a supplement to an enhancement cream. The logic behind it being that the ‘deep penetrating cream’ acts directly on the area of interest. All you have to do is purchase a topical butt enhancement cream; apply after bathing and after eight weeks of massaging the cream…voila! Many such creams contain volufiline as an ingredient which multiplies fat cells hence increasing the mass of buttocks, breasts and even hands or so the advertisement says. Once again, you would be best advised to see a doctor, not just read the caption.

Going under the knife

Surgery. In the 21st century, this appears to be the solution at least for the wealthy or those willing to save up for cosmetic surgery. There are simply two options when it comes to butt lift or enhancement surgeries. The first, you can get an implant placed in your gluteal area or have fillers injected which carries the risk of your body rejecting it. Hence the now more popular practice known as Brazilian Butt lift or simply fat transfer. As the name suggests, fat from other areas of your body is removed, purified and injected into your butt. And that is called vanity, sorry I meant technology. We could go into the pros and cons but it wouldn’t change the fact that most men consider curvaceous ladies with ample behinds to be more appealing or that women know this and some are willing to do just about anything to have the so-called true African woman figure.

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