• Women have long believed that they are better than women who sleep with men for favours (cash or in-kind).
• We are all the same please, it is the outcome that is different.
A male platonic friend asked me the other day what my body count looks like. He was not rude but 'judgy'.
I felt the need to answer. Now I am so irritated with myself. Sometimes I have delayed reactions. It is not like the man is a virgin. Nor has he had only two mates. He is a man. It is somehow ok. So ok that he can question my own body count and I am not even his relative. So ok that when he questions me, I feel the need to answer instead of asking him to mind his own nether regions.
Why is society hell-bent on keeping women "pure"? There is nothing we fear more than a sexually liberated woman. A woman comfortable in her sexuality is termed as loose. Even if the sex she is having is with men, I often wonder what to call the guys who agree to have sex with her.
Before we go further, there are sex workers and there are sexually liberated women. A sex worker can be liberated and a liberated woman is not a sex worker. I hope we are clear.
For many women, we are taught that sex is very important to a man. Give him sex and he will be happier, more generous, healthier and maybe he will not even cheat on you. Basically, just be his masturbating tool. No one talks about you enjoying the sex.
If you enjoy, your partner may start looking at you funny: Where did you learn this? Are you sleeping with someone else? In most instances, we start trying to enjoy sex with our partners, pretending, really when we find out we have a competitor. Now we want to be that whore, in our bedroom.
A man said to me that he does not expect the mother of his children to be kinky. But he will get his fantasies fulfilled by another woman, who is not pure, a rebel. It is a view held by many, a sexually liberated woman is not good enough to mother a baby. Mothers only have sex to give birth. (Eye roll)
We may not openly say it, but we live it. Sex is the one dirty thing men are allowed to enjoy. No wonder it really excites them. It feels almost rebellious. Who does not want to do things we should not be doing?
There are a lot of advantages for women who enjoy sex that has been kept hidden from us. There is nothing pure about being a virgin. You have not changed. You had sex. There is nothing pure about having slept with only one man in your entire life. There is nothing dirty about sleeping with 100 men if you can manage it. Whatever you want to do. Sleep with one, none or twenty.
So I hope we are over purity being related to our vaginas. If you are not, let me add what someone said:“ Virginity is a social concept constructed by men who thought their dicks were so important it could change who a woman was!”
Listen, I have a word limit. I would quickly like to tell you what we gain as women by being sexually liberated.
In Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, he has a chapter about “Sex transmutation”. Simply put, he suggests sexual desire is the most powerful of human (we usually allocate it to the man part of huMAN) desires.
“When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling, including, of course, the accumulation of riches.”
This could work wonders for your career ONLY if you drop what society thinks of women with sexual desires and permit yourself to be a sexual liberated being. Then and only then, can you channel this wonderful energy. I bet you thought I was just advocating for women to sleep with anything right?
Even if you want to sleep around, the transfer of energy is real. (Disease too, please use protection and get tested!) Choose wisely who you let touch you, some people only have bad luck and misfortune to offer.
Women have long believed that they are better than women who sleep with men for favours (cash or in-kind). We are all the same please, it is the outcome that is different. She got a better job, network, money etc, you got blue-ticked or at best a drink.
Stop shaming women for being able to profit off of their sexuality.