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September 26, 2018

Raverend Reloaded: August holiday in hell

Socialite Vera Sidika, musician Otile Brown and fans
Socialite Vera Sidika, musician Otile Brown and fans

So with only four days into August, the drama in the 254 is never ending... The weather is bipolar, Sonko is suspending his county staff daily for some reason or the other... And Otile Brown and aunty Vera Sidika are still toying with Kenyans’ emotions...

The two lovebirds pretended to have separated for almost two weeks, only for their fans to wake up and realise it was all a stunt so that Otile Brown can drop his new single... 

TheRaverends’ take on this whole Otile-Vera Brown situation is simple... It’s all for convenience and Showbiz... Otile Brown is in the relationship to build his brand and music using Vera Sidika’s huge fanbase... As for aunty Vera, it’s just show business before she starts her overseas trips... She is just mark-timing with Otile Brown because she is off season...

Talking of off season, schools have closed and kids are back home after being away for like three months, and it’s important for parents to be “chonjo” en very vigilant with their kids to avoid heart attacks... 

Parents need to treat their brats the same way we treat strangers and politicians: with extra caution...With only one day after schools closed, we have had two cases of kids misbehaving... One was in Dandora, where 12 students (four girls and eight boys) were arrested in a rented houses with 12 rolls of bhangireee, while in Kayole, 10 class seven pupils were found engaging in an orgy... So #TheRaverend is asking all parents to police their kids because the same madness they were engaging in in school is what they have carried back home!

CS Balala tells off people who want him to resign over the rhino deaths to ‘go to hell’, saying he was appointed by President Kenyatta...He forgets Uhuru is elected by the people he is abusing... 

How do you catch feelings because the taxpayers are demanding answers? ... How do you tell Kenyans they can go to hell and your only boss is the President, and then turn around and apologise and expect that story to go away??? 

CS Balala needs to understand that you can’t get away with abusing Kenyans who pay your salary... It’s like the askari/soldier who mans the gate abusing a a tenant who pays service charges that pay his salary...

But because the soldier/askari has no clue of where his salary comes from, theRaverend is willing to pardon him, but not a learned individual who holds a post of a CS and can’t respect taxpayers, who instead goes on a rant when asked to be accountable, becomes emotional, orders all Kenyans who have an issue with how he’s operating to go to hell... Not to pass go, not to collect 200 bob, but to go straight to Hell! 

En the Hell he is sending the guys who pay for his salary to and that guzzler he chauffeured in is not Hell’s gate in Naivasha, but huko kwa abyss, where the everlasting fire burns nonstop! 

This must be the effects of eating too much donkey meat. ‘Asante ya punda ni mateke’

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