Skip to main content
January 16, 2019

Raverend: The Raverends friends fires and World Cup

It's only been two weeks but this July is turning out to be not only the coldest month ever but also one with the most fireworks, literally.

Everything this month is happening on a big scale. Let’s start with the World Cup. All my predictions went to the dogs, with all my teams losing me serious cash.

But on the upside the Brits are not winning the coveted trophy, so I have nothing too complain about. One fact that’s clear about this World Cup is England is the most hated football nation. And the fact that Croatia beat them in the semi finals only proves what I have feared all my life; the Queen is a vampire and she is not dying any time soon.

England’s defeat means she is here to stay for another four years...Many Kenyans never knew Croatia is a European country. Until they beat England, many football fans who cannot event spell Croatia assumed it's an Asian country with a hot socialite President.

So here is a quick history lesson about Croatia ahead of the World Cup final tomorrow...It’s a small Eastern European country that was once part of Russia and boasts of a population smaller than Nairobi...their prezz is a hot blonde who has been in Russia since the World Cup started.

The team's assistant coach was fired after over-celebrating the team's win against Mother Russia.

Deputy President William Ruto has already declared his support for Croatia in tomorrow's final and whether or not it’s because of their hot President we'll never know.

Another major issue that’s battling with the World Cup for the headlines this week is the rising school unrest.

Students are burning schools with impunity...Yaani close to 200 students have been arrested in connection with the latest incidents of unrest in schools.

The government is confused and it's been determined that besides having a criminal record, students involved in arson are to be barred from joining universities, and from getting any grants...Meaning if your child is caught up in this drama they will have a permanent criminal record.

Hakuna mambo ya kufanya mistake and blaming it on being young and stupid anymore kwa hii serikali ya jubilee.

GoK doesn't like youth. Still on matters school; some ‘genius' in government is suggesting that all students wear the same uniform! Just wondering how someone would think having all students looking the same helps. How would you differentiate them? School uniforms are an identity that represents a school's motto, etc. But no, let’s get rid of all that; let the kids wear the same uniform like a football team because it’s World Cup season.

How do you pick out the bad ones when they all look alike? How does this change anything? How does it stop the unrest? The Education CS is seriously failing, we have bigger issues than same uniform manenos and branding children as hardcore criminals.

I’m not an expert but the state of the school unrest is far from over if the government keeps handling the issue the way it is.

Moving on to more fireworks popping this week, the great Twitter purge happened on Thursday with many Twitter bigwigs waking up as Twitter 'small wigs' after Twitter cancelled dormant accounts and bots. The purge affected presidents, celebrities and bloggers.

Most affected were bloggers who have bought imaginary followers from Asia to lie to corporates and clients.

How someone buys fans is still a mystery to #TheRaverend. My mama raised me better. I avoid friends so buying fake friends to increase the number of my followers is a big joke.

Jesus only had 12 followers and still he got snaked, why do Kenyans feel the need to buy fake followers? What street cred does someone get knowing that 70 per cent of the people they consider friends are fake/imaginary?

Poll of the day