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February 23, 2019

And in walks Rob

Watching the Lewandowskis on the screen (Poland vs Senegal World cup match) has given me relationship goals. That’s what I want. Love. Great sex. All of it - Why compromise? They’ve been married for five years, dated for five years before that and I’ll bet with their athletic lives (she is a martial arts guru and he plays for Bayern Munich) things can get quite steamy between the sheets. But aside from sex, the way she tenderly held him and the way he hung onto her after losing the match, that’s the real deal if I ever saw it. And that’s what I want.

And that’s exactly what I seem to be getting. Words have power. Immediately I put that out to the universe the most amazing thing happened. I met Rob. It was at a work shoot and as the editor of the mag, I was shooting off instructions, making sure everything was going to appear as I wanted it. The photographer and everyone around me were getting impatient and seemed to want me gone so they could appear the next day with the finished product instead of me looking over their shoulder. But I like to micromanage.

Rob was there by coincidence. He had a meeting with the owner of the venue and as he was waiting to see him, was drawn to all the action. Lights, camera and action tend to do that. I recall him saying hello and asking a few questions which I answered without paying too much attention to him. All my focus was on the shoot. When it was finally over, there was applause all round for a job well done and we popped open a bottle of bubbly. The photographer and I did a toast and exchanged pleasantries as we scanned the room. That’s when I looked at him properly.

Rob isn’t tall for a guy. Maybe 5’6. I hesitate to refer to him as chocolate because I read somewhere that referring to people of colour with food-related words has links to colonialism. Apparently the best way to show dominance in the animal kingdom is feasting on something. So in humans, referring to them as food – even delicious food – is putting them in their place in the lower rungs of the food chain. That might be overthinking it, though.

Referring to him as “my delicious slice of chocolate” might be cliché, but who really doesn’t want to be referred to as a yummy dose of cocoa? Well, all of us actually, when you think of how the farmers who are the backbone of the cocoa industry are mostly children. Ghana and Ivory Coast produce 60 per cent of the world’s supply and the kids working the fields are around 2.1 million. So companies like Mars, Nestle and Hershey’s who buy their cocoa from suppliers who, down the chain, get it through child labour, may have plausible deniability because of the middle men but ultimately as the demand of cocoa continues to rise, consumers may have to put more pressure on these companies to take a keener interest in their supply lines.

So back to Rob (who in deference to the kids who should be school and not working in the fields we will not refer to as chocolate). I also hesitate to refer to him as dark. Where’s the gauge in that? A white person reading this may think of me as dark whereas a black person might think of me as light-skinned. So what is something less vague to use to let you know exactly what Rob looks like? Something, I might add again, that is not food? The sun has richened his skin to an obsidian hue. Yes, I like that. An obsidian hue.

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