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January 20, 2018

Raverend Reloaded: The savage garden

couple flirting
couple flirting

The month that’s January 2018 finally has checked into double digits, but it’s still dragging its feet compared to January 2017… If #TheRaverend’s memory serves him right, last year at a time like this, we were already halfway into January, en pay day was a stone’s throw away… But then again that was 2017… In 2018, shit’s different.

No one was ready for the trek in the Sahara desert!!! So as we celebrate the milestone of reaching weekend number two of the New Year, having dealt with school fees manenos… It’s now time to start bracing ourselves for the remaining 40 days of January…

Looking at some of the achievements of week two of 2018… The President has fired some Cabinet ministers and gone on a working holiday to SA. The President has also kicked our NTSA from managing the roads and handed it back to the police.

The Sonko court case challenging his election has died a sudden death. But as for Lupita’s dad, the case ended but the complainant has refused to back down… #AlutaContinua…

Form ones have reported to high school with free textbooks, en codeine joins shisha in the list of prohibited drugs in Kenya. On the entertainment front, bongo rock star Diamond Platinum was in town last Sunday for the B-Club pool party, en the slay queens came out to play as usual… It reminded me of the December holidays all over again…

Talking of slay queens, aka the girl child, it has come to my attention as #TheRaverend that our campaign of helping the boy child be better or win in 2018 is in serious crisis after I came across a story of how savage the girl child has become… So apparently, the slay queens are still controlling the boys with no mercy… We have boy child’s who are willing to give a girl child money for a taxi, while they themselves use the Ma3! We have boy child’s who will take the girl child out for a lunch date, en the whole time only drink tap water as the girl child stuffs herself with half kuku porno and fries as he sits watching… The girl child will not even offer the poor boy a bite of the dirty chips…

#TheRaverend has bumped into slay queens who have left B-Club, 40Forty Lounge or Kiza having chips and chicken. I’m in downtown CBD in the wee hours of the morning with the same cash they have managed to acquire from the unsuspecting champagne-popping boy child, who goes home on an empty tummy…

For the boy child to compete or even get to the same level with the girl child, they need serious help, because the girl child is in another league… The girl child is focused and will never take her eyes off the price… So #TheRaverend would like to send a warning to all boy child’s allowing themselves to be taken for granted. We will to deport you from Nairobi to the village!

In 2018, we need the boy child to evolve en take control… No more spending on the females… We need to embrace the spirit of going Dutch or cost-sharing… 2018 is the year of everyone embracing equality en competing on a level playing field. Slay queens watajua hawajui!

Back in the bar front, yeah, shisha is still technically illegal. Smoke it undercover as we wait for the court hearing on Monday!!! Other than shisha, we have clubs that are under the county government radar. As a matter of fact, Nema had slapped Jiweke Tavern, B-Club, Kiza and Space Lounge with closure orders due to failure to regulate sound! I don’t know how the order works because all the clubs above were fully operational as of last night…

Nairobi is becoming very boring. Whoever is in charge of Nairobi entertainment should be fired for being a party pooper! But with all that said and done, the party won’t en shall never stop in my city in the sun!


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