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January 20, 2019

Forget being a great seducer, start with simple hi

Hi Njoroge,
I have been reading your articles and they are very informative. I need your help. I have difficulties in approaching ladies. I mean sina maneno matamu ya kumwambia msichana aingie box, please help?



Well Clinton, you could start by calling us by our first names, and not our fathers’ names. And also stop thinking that you have to be this great ‘seducer of women’.  You just need to start a conversation.

I wish you had told me more about yourself and what you do or what you like. The truth is most couples meet and get to know each other while doing things that they each like to do independently. Those who like to drink meet in bars, dancers meet on the dance floor, and Christians meet at prayer meetings or Bible study… you get the picture.

So what do you like doing?  Dancing? Playing a musical instrument? Computer programming? Working out? If you say reading then you will have to find a less solitary hobby. The better you know yourself, the more interesting you will be to date and frankly, the easier you will be to get along with. So get involved with what piques your curiosity. 

We are all at our most attractive when we are doing something that we love, talking about what we are passionate and knowledgeable about and having a good time. This is the best time to meet ladies, when they too are at their best. Don’t think about ‘seduction’ and boxes… just start a conversation. Say hi, introduce yourself and be polite. Ask her about herself. We say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach; well Clinton the way to a woman’s heart is through her ears.

Many, many women have woken up next married to a guy they swore they would never date, sleep with or marry, simply because he listened to them attentively. Being listened to is such a gift. It tells the speaker that she matters, that what she has to say is important and relevant, and Clinton you will know you are doing it right when she slows down her speech and really thinks about what she is saying to you.

Lastly, figure out why you are so scared of women. We all fear rejection, but we make it mean different things. Some of us do not want to look bad, others hate losing, many of us think rejection confirms that we are not good enough or worthy of love. Once you name what you are afraid of, it shrinks in size and becomes easier to deal with.

So get out there, meet many, many ladies, say hi and ask them about themselves. Many will be disinterested, some will smile and chat for a while, a few will give you their phone numbers and a short list will be interested in dating you, getting to know you better and much more.  Just get out there and say hi Clinton. Heartache, joy, great business deals, your beautiful family... they all start with hi.

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