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September 26, 2018

All you need to know about safe sex

Please tell me about safe sex?

Martin

 

Well Martin, thanks so much for your question. I will admit, I almost chose to answer another question because this seems rather boring but frankly it is very necessary and safe sex is not as straight forward as it seems.

First of all, make sure that you and your partner are on the same exact page and she is a fully consenting adult — ask her how old she is, and definitely ask her if she wants to have sex with you. Give her several opportunities to say no. This sounds unromantic but trust me you never want to be called a rapist.

You should also discuss sexual histories. You do not have to discuss each and every encounter but you should give this partner a chance to tell you if she has unprotected sex regularly and whether or not she has had any sexually transmitted infections. If you ask these questions you should be willing to answer them yourself.

And now for the easy part — condoms. Latex condoms are the most common and in my opinion easy to use. There are polyurethane varieties and they are thinner and allow more sensation but they tend to break; and then there are lambskin condoms which do not protect against infection, only pregnancy. Use them once, buy them frequently and store them at home, not in your back pocket or wallet where the latex will keep expanding and shrinking (read weakening) from changes in temperature. 

The ribbed or studded ones provide more friction for your partner and enhance her pleasure. Lubricated condoms are easier to get on and off.  Some condoms have a spermicide called nanoxynol-9 but it can cause tears in the vaginal wall and make your partner more susceptible to infection. Some women are also allergic to it. Also if you find that you ejaculate too quickly you could try ‘delay’ condoms; they have a mild numbing agent that decreases sensation for you, allowing you to last longer. If you chose them, make sure the numbing agent does not get onto your partner, otherwise you will both be having sensation free sex.

You should put your condom on before your genitalia touches your partner’s genitalia.

Lubrication makes sex easier and more enjoyable for both partners, so Martin spend time on foreplay. Explore your partner’s body, find her hotspots and focus on them. If you can get her to climax before intercourse, all the better.

It is great to have a water or silicone based lubricant handy. Silicone lube is less sticky than water based, but they both work well. As a rule, oil and condoms do not mix — the oil  breaks own latex and will destroy your condoms.

Ok, I think I have covered all the basics Martin, happy humping!

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