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November 18, 2018

Should I leave my man of few words?

Valentine, I am madly in love with this dude but we hardly see each other. Of late he does not communicate like he used to do earlier and I now have a feeling that maybe he his dating another girl. When I ask him he says that he is a man of few words. Should I tolerate him or should I move on and assume that there is another lady he is dating.

Judy

 

Woi! Ati a man of few words? That is new I will give him that. But let us not talk about him. Let us talk about you.

I like to think of dating as an interviewing process. To get the best person for the job of stable boyfriend and eventually husband, you as the employer has to be clear on what it is you require from this person. You are obviously big on frequent communication and spending quality time together. Spending your life with someone obviously necessitates the two.

I think that you as an employer realise that this is not interested in working for you full time. You have different ideas about what this relationship should look like.

Telling someone that you miss them and asking them to spend time with you can start to feel like begging if they are reluctant. It will make you resentful and angry, if it hasn’t already. Let this one go Judy and stop thinking about whether or not he is dating another woman because that it irrelevant. What is relevant is that you do not feel good in this relationship and aren’t happy. You want to be treated differently and he is not saying he will try, he is saying that he is a man of few words. How about you create space in your life for a man of many words who wants to say most of them to you and hear what you think of his words?

 

Hi Valentine, please help me? I woke up yesterday with pains in my left testes. What do I do? 

Clive

 

Well Clive, pole sana. I guess it won’t be a fun Valentine’s Day for you or your girlfriend.

Let me tell you a story. Years ago when I was in university, a guy that was in my social circle disappeared for a few weeks. When he turned up again, some friends and I asked him where he had been. He gave us a very vague answer but we kept asking him and eventually he told us that he had a bizarre injury and ended up having surgery. I am very fuzzy on the details, my university years are very far behind me, but I remember very clearly that he said his testicle exploded. Yes that is not a typo — exploded.

Are you scared? Good. Run to the doctor. Do not walk, do not stop to M-Pesa anyone… run. This poor guy ended up with one testicle. It is great that God gave you guys a spare but you do not want to lose one out of carelessness. Go and get the proper treatment.

 

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