So motherhood changes your whole life. Your waistline expands, hips widen, boobs engorge and even your hairline recedes. That last one was such a surprise. My nanny had told me I should expect some hair breakage along my hairline but it sounded like she was just hating on me. Imagine my shock when I went to the salon for a routine wash and saw my receding hairline? A whole inch had disappeared from my edges. Woi! But now that my son is in his sixth month, I thought I had dealt with all changes mummy.
But there is a change that I have been forgetting or ignoring that I can’t shake. I cannot remember stuff. I thought it was a joke… even an excuse that mothers use to get out of stuff that they do not want to do and deal with. I mean really, which self-respecting woman admits to this? An unkind part of me wished these woman would shut up because they were setting the feminist movement back a few steps. But here I am admitting that since I became a mother, I have become alarmingly forgetful. Apparently it is called Mummy Brain. I used to pride myself on my memory. Not only would I remember events from my childhood, I would remember mundane details from quotidian routines. Conversations, food, places, movies, even the price of just about everything I own... it was all in the hard drive and I could access it quickly.
I used to go to meetings, take zero notes and easily recall every detail. Now? Woi! If I don’t write it down, it is gone. I forget to tell people things, though because I intended to tell them and I still think I don’t forget things, then I believe I have told them... This has led to some interesting and embarrassing conversations. I also forget entire conversations. Names escape me, words I don’t use every day hangout on the periphery of my memory, teasing me, dancing and laughing as they elude my grasp. Then new instructions on technology? It’s like I have a mental block. I just cannot retain the information. Netflix is such a challenge.
I used to be vain about my brain and now I am constantly doubting the information I have. Asking for help… needing directions… these are not things that come easily to me. Some mothers say they wouldn’t change a thing about motherhood? I would change this if I could. I would trade this memory loss for another innocuous change. I hear women’s feet widen after pregnancy and some even lose a tooth. Hey God, can I give up a tooth and get my memory back?