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January 17, 2019

His equipment is not what I expected

Hi Valentine,

I have been dating this guy for about six months and we finally had sex a few weeks ago. The issue is he has a small penis… seriously it’s like four inches. I am so disappointed. What can we do? I think I love him.



Oh wow Anonymous! Congratulations on the new man; but six months and then four inches? Ouch! I feel you girl, that is disappointing. However unless you absolutely must have a big penis, you can work with 4 inches; and it sounds like you want to which is half the battle. Also you think you love him.

The main things here are (a) to get your orgasm before intercourse and (b) to work with positions that will make the penis feel as large as possible, and that allow your man to penetrate as much as possible. Tell him that you really enjoy foreplay and that you have an easier orgasm this way, then take his hand and show him how to touch you and also suggest oral sex. For intercourse, try:

Girl on top – you could face him which is great if you want to look into each other’s eyes. Alternatively, you could face his toes and he can enjoy the view of your behind.

Rear entry positions can feel raunchy which adds a new dimension to your passion. Try keeping your legs closed as this will make you tighter and have his four inches feel bigger to you.

You could also try him on top with your legs as close to your shoulders as possible. This is not the most comfortable position but it will allow him to go deep.

I am all for as much honesty as possible in relationships but this is one of few instances when I will urge you to shut up. Do not to tell our man he has a small penis. Number one: I am sure he knows. Number two: there is nothing he can do about it so telling him will simply make him sexually insecure.

It is bad sexual manners to point out our partner’s flaws or areas of possible embarrassment. As a general rule of thumb, be complimentary or say nothing at all to someone who has chosen to get naked with you. Say nothing and find a way to enjoy the four inches. If that proves impossible then throw him back in the sea and keep fishing for a man with a larger penis.

Also if size matters so much, find a way to figure out his size without having to date him for so long. A girlfriend once told me that she offers oral sex in a semi-public place. If she finds that everything is in order, she goes ahead with it but if not she says that she is too scared to go on and quickly exits the situation.

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