What a crazy few weeks eh? The usual dance that parents have to go through every single September was upon as when the third term rolled out. The teachers of Kenya were out in force to remind the government to give them their due in the simplest and direct methods available.
Even as they were making their noise there was something different about their organisation this time round. Unlike the teachers of the last few years, they had gotten leaders of the Kenya National Union of Teachers aka Knut who were organised and knew how to bring their message to the fore. This time round, they were seen apart from the usual placards and whistles, carrying empty pots with the placard “empty” and “njaa”.
They had also ensured the law was on their side, and with the battle all the way to the supreme court being won their message was loud and clear.
At the time of writing this column, we have not yet heard whether the almighty battle had been won by either the teachers or their perennial enemies, the government. What I do know is that this year the teachers brought their A-game to the table and the country may never be the same. With the teachers showing that if one gets organised and is determined, then we too can effect some change in spite of the odds against us. Here are some people who need to get together and effect change for the better in our country.
1) Kenya National Union against Keshas (KNUS)
You have had a long day living in a city that shows no mercy to anyone that dares show weakness. You get home and have a quick shower and lie down and surrender to the world of sleep. As soon as you are nodding off in sleep, you hear this sound being emitted by a human being with a microphone outside your home.... shokokoririri! Shukakakaakrriri! Hukakariri! Like any normal human being you wonder whether someone is being murdered in public. Then you realise you are actually the victim of the Nairobi kesha. The concept of kesha or sleepover involves faithful of churches and praising their Lord Jesus Christ overnight together in public. For those who follow this practice, they claim they love the spiritual nourishment that it brings to them. Unfortunately, churches tend to be in residential areas, so this means that it will bother some sleeping folks. However, if you dare raise your hands and say you need your rest, you are considered a heathen.
The new KNUS will allow you and those like you to mobilise against the loud kesha proponents with the right tools to end the madness. The tools, both legal or otherwise will include unplugging power sources to microphones and passing pamphlets within the congregation of a new gang of muggers that mill around the church after hours. While these wouldn't be considered legal or moral, these keshas just like the government has pushed us against the wall. Therefore just like our more illustrious brothers at KNUT we must use every means at our disposal.
2) Kenya National Union against rabid old men (KNUROM)
Men especially of the older variety were once a very important and respected demographic in Kenyan society but something has changed. I don't know if this is happening more today or if this is a function of reporting, but in recent times I have been watching more and more older men on our TV screens behaving badly. It doesn't matter whether they are preachers or medical personnel or other professions revered or not. These men who would be called mature are trying their best to see who can come up with the craziest of assaults on human decency. The problem with dealing with this problem is that we all see these men as the “pillar of society”, so we need to be careful about how we deal with their bad behaviour.
Enter the newly formed KNUROM. This organisation will be at the forefront of catching the bad behaviour when it happens. As soon as your local gynaecologist decides to pull any immoral moves, then they will be hunted down by their victims with the premise of giving them court summons. When they have been found at their lairs, then the next move will shock them as they are filmed being examined by “qualified” proctologists for “prostate cancer”. With this kind of very painful and public humiliations you can expect to see a huge reduction in Rabid Old Men around the country.
Venue review:
News Cafe, Adlife Plaza, Chania Avenue, Hurlingham
We were celebrating finishing a project with friends on Saturday night and we needed to go out like every Nairobian does at times like these. My friend who lives around the Yaya Centre area recommended News Cafe at the Adlife Plaza, one of these plazas that are sprouting around Nairobi like they are getting free land at the land office.
When we got into this News Cafe on the Mezzanine, I was slightly taken aback. The thing is that I tend to review bars in less affluent parts of town. The bars there are the ones that wouldn't dare sell beer above Sh200. This bar, however, was something else. It has a very high end look to it with two main areas where one can have their drinks. One area was an outer area which had seats that looked out on Milimani Road, which would probably have come in handy for those wanting to see how the traffic was behaving there.
The other area is within and it was at the counter here that I had a seat with my friend. And we were given a couple of menus. The counter was one of those square ones at the centre of the venue where one could follow the activities within as well as see what was happening across you at people having drinks. The drinks menu was filled with a variety of cocktail types and I was unable to know what to drink. I opted sadly for my usual Tusker which was retailing at Sh250.
The décor at this place was very good. Comfortable seating was the order of the day and the clientele here reflected it. Here I saw professionals who wouldn't be out of place sitting in a high-end pub in Dubai, London or New York were seated here sipping bubblegum daiquiris, bloody mary's, long island iced teas and mojitos. The punters were distinctly multiracial in their complexion.
A quick recap of the venue:
Good: Great décor and service, clean washrooms, one TV for the sport mad, convenient location, disability friendly,
Bad: One entry, one exit which wouldn't inspire in an emergency, pricey.
My verdict: This is one of the better new pubs to have a variety of cocktails and associated drinks in Nairobi. Assuming you can afford it of course.
Twitter: @jamesmurua