The older I get, the less cocky I feel I have become. In life’s journey, as I sometimes sit back and take stock, I realise I have come a long way. From being Miss Always Right to Ms. I May Be Wrong, the transition to where I am today has been an incredible one.
I used to get into arguments to win them. It’s second nature for me to argue, debate and dissect. In the days gone by, it used to be to be right. Now it’s just to put forward what I strongly feel and withdraw if it becomes an argument.
If you know me very well, you’ll know that if I am quiet, it’s because I have reached the end of my tether and can’t see any good coming out of a situation so it is best to remain quiet. If I am talking or giving an opinion or debating something, I care enough to bring it up and get it over and done with – especially so in arguments with loved ones. My loved ones, whether family or friends, are worth the fight.
As I have grown older, I have a lot less people in my life. These are people whom I enjoy keeping in touch with and like having them around me. I don’t see why people have to surround themselves with people who add no value to their life just for the sake of social graces and what society will think. How are you okay with compromising your peace of mind just because society thinks you should have certain people in your life, even though they don’t make you happy at all?
Cut off from such people and watch how you prosper because you are not busy worrying about these people simply because they are not in your life anymore, hence no stress. People should start accepting this instead of forcing relationships and not being happy in life.
I also realise I may not be the best relation to have or friend to turn to. I have my own stuff to deal with, my own demons to fight, my own concerns to contend with. Like I said earlier, we are all battling something or the other, but I have realized that I cannot keep letting people walk over me all the time and make me feel so horrid about myself. That is only happening because I am allowing it to happen so that is when I start withdrawing and cutting off.
If people around me don’t want to accept me the way I am, then I’m ok with that. I accept that about you and I do myself (and you) a favour by eliminating myself from this equation.
Life has thrown a lot at me – a failed violent marriage, an alcoholic husband, constantly sick parents, bringing up two kids on my own in a society that looks down on divorced women, a terrorist attack, and so much more. I felt it is about time I started thinking of myself first and becoming selfish where I am concerned. It hasn’t gone down well with many people but that has stopped mattering. It has to be about me now.
I also know nobody is perfect, and I am nobody!
Have a GREAT weekend!