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November 21, 2018

Valentine on call: How soon is too soon?

“Is two weeks too early to have sex with your new partner?” 

You might think I am joking but I am not. This is such a personal question and it depends completely on what you want out of the relationship. Many people believe that if you want a long-term relationship, you should delay sex until you are both committed to each other.

Another school of thought believes you should have sex as soon as possible to find out if you have sexual chemistry. Many Americans think the third date is the sex date, so they might say two weeks is sufficient time to have shared three meals, watched a movie or a play, and gone dancing together – and therefore it is time to have sex.

My point in giving you all these examples is there is no right or wrong answer – there is simply what works for you, and your current sexual agenda. There are some conversations to be had with new partners though – conversations regarding sexual safety and recklessness. Does your potential partner have unprotected sex? Has s/he been tested for STIs recently? Does either of you have an incurable STI like herpes, HPV or genital warts? Are you both going to be faithful to each other? Will you both be using condoms at all times? Will you get tested and share your results?

As you read these questions, you might come to the correct conclusion that the majority of people do not ask all sexual partners these things. In fact some couples have sex for months without ever discussing these questions. I brought them up because they should be considered, and because I believe you want to conduct your sex life in a more responsible way than most. All the best, and do bring them up with your partner – if only so that you can discuss condom use and fidelity.



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