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February 21, 2019

Typical movies that describe our lives

 I used to think that film and TV were the products of people with crazy imaginations because then fantasy was a very important part of the cinematic experience. The idea, for instance, that a young man would ensure his lonely father would meet up and fall in love with a woman in another city was as foreign as it got.

The movie Sleepless in Seattle with such a scenario was, therefore, one of the most lived movies in the 1980s. The idea that two young girls who were twins separated as children would be the reason that their parents would meet and marry in future made The Parent Trap an unlikely hit with families. The movie was done in the 1960s and then came back in the 1990s in remake, proving its popularity.

Even as we grew up and Nollywood started infiltrating into our entertainment scene, they too were focused on fantasy. Therefore, it wasn't surprising to see a person being turned into an animal like a chicken or snake at one point in the movie. All fantasy, so all good.

In recent times however, we have started seeing what was once fantasy slowly turning out to be reality. One of the most beloved movies of all time was Shawshank Redemption, a movie about a mad who tunnels his way under a prison to freedom. This movie became reality when a Mexican drug lord by the colourful name of El Chapo tunneled his way out of a prison last week. Prison Break was a TV series where prisoners execute a flawless plan to escape from a US jail. The same happened in Bungoma when prisoners executed a plan to escape from the town maximum security prison to the embarrassment of authorities.

If movies are now becoming more realistic, perhaps we are going to see more of our lives becoming very much like film and TV. Here are few movies that would be reflected in our normal lives with only a slight twist.

 Diamonds are Forever: A James-Bond movie

In this movie, British secret agent James Bond while investigating a diamond smuggling leads him to Las Vegas, where he uncovers a plot to use the diamonds to build a giant laser to blackmail the world with nuclear weapons. In the Kenyan version, the plot would involve our hero, James Omolo, the debonair secret agent who takes his Glenfiddich whiskey, distilled – not cooked – like they do with those brews they have been pouring.

The plot would be simple – he would be investigating a terror ring that is 'smuggling gayism' into Kenya to the detriment of our country's well-known family values. While he is worrying about how to arrest this 'gayism', he would be forced to go to Nairobi where he would be shocked of a plot at naked extortion in Kenya. This would be by the use of 5,000 poor souls who would be drugged and then instructed to flood the streets in the buff allegedly to send a message to a visiting head of state against his evil ways. This would-be movie would have the best box office sales of an African movie since Sarafina, Nairobi Half Life and Love Brewed in An African Pot.

 Home Alone

In this movie, a young man is left by his huge family when they go on holiday. Why they are away, he has to deal with some thieves who are trying to steal the valuables in his family abode with rudimentary tools available at his home with hilarious results. The Kenyan enactment of this would involve a young nominated Member of Parliament who has been left by his colleagues when they shuttle off for the scheduled Parliamentary holiday break at the taxpayers expense.

This young impressionable legislator will not be trying to keep bad guys out – he will be keeping out EACC officials who are trying to get into the house to find evidence against his colleagues. He will do this using basic tools at his proposal like bills, court injunctions and threatening press conferences that include yelling, table-thumping and pointing. There will be much laughter when the audience see the evil government stooges being undone as they attempt at doing their (evil) job.

 Toy Story

In this animated movie, a young cowboy doll gets jealous when a new spaceman toy replaces him as the new top toy in a boys' room. In the Kenyan version, the scene would be in a bar and the animated characters will be bottles of brew. The tale would involve a new brew which has come in and has been deemed to be a favourite of not only the bar owner and patrons called Rest In Peace. The older brews with pedestrian names like Tusker, Heineken and Castle Lager would be up in arms as they were now being edged out as favourites.

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