I have read in previous articles that pregnant women can have sex. Are there positions that work better than others?
Congratulations on your baby Marianne and thanks for your question. Yes, I have advised couples to continue with their sex lives during pregnancy. However, you are right some positions do work better than others, as do different points of the pregnancy.
Each woman is different and more importantly each pregnancy is different. I have heard from several women that they were fine having sex until the third trimester in one pregnancy, but completely turned off sex or their partner in another pregnancy. There are no fixed rules or recommendations. Assuming that you are pregnant, you know that you might be craving fish one day and go completely off it the next. A few weeks ago I had a fever and was feeling exhausted, I was so sure I was about to get catch a horrible cold, but it turned out I was reacting to rice. Now I am back to eating rice.
But back to your sex life: the most obvious positions which won’t have your partner pressing against your belly are rear entry positions and of course you on top. With the rear entry, you could either be on your side, or on all fours. When you are on top, you could face your partner or look at his feet in what we call reverse cow-girl. This is not to say that missionary is off limits, but ask your partner to hold his weight on his arms and not lie on you completely as that will be uncomfortable, if not outright painful.
My husband’s libido seems to have disappeared. We used to have sex a few times a week but it has been a few months. I don’t think he is cheating, his routine is the same. What could be the problem? He says nothing is wrong but I can tell he is worried.
Woi! This is a tough one — dealing with a problem when the other person will not even acknowledge that it exists. Debra, the good news is that you can.
You did not mention that anything else is going on in your relationship or in your man’s personal life but I guarantee you, there is something. Has he put on weight or lost weight suddenly? Lost some money in a business venture? Been diagnosed with diabetes or high blood pressure? Did a close friend die?
Our sex drive is intricately related to how we feel about ourselves and our lives. When we are feeling good, our libido gets a boost and when we feel bad or inadequate then our libido tends to take a hit. I cannot diagnose your man’s issue from your short email, but I hope I have at least pointed you in the right direction.
If you sit down and think about when the problem turned up and what life events were happening at the time, you will be able to figure out what precipitated this drop in libido. Perhaps now instead of discussing sex, you can talk about the real issue.