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February 17, 2019

Valentine, on call: Foul play versus foreplay

Foul play versus foreplay
Foul play versus foreplay

“My girlfriend does not like foul play close to her mainframe. Sometimes when we want to make love, she is not wet but prefers me to only kiss and romance her but never close door. I really want her to have a clitoral orgasm. I talked to her and she says it is nothing.”

Wow! If only you had written to me in English. I do not know what you are talking about, but I can guess.

I think you meant foreplay and not foul play (which, by the way, entails unfair treatment of an opponent in a game or competition). Foreplay is all the kissing and touching and whispering of sweet nothings that we do prior to intercourse. It is not surprising that your girlfriend is not wet when you want to make love if there has been no foreplay. Most women need about 20 minutes of foreplay before they are ready for intercourse.

My second guess is that your girlfriend is not ready to have sex with you. This is due to the phrase “only kiss and romance her but never close door”. You cannot force her to have sex with you, even if you do promise a clitoral orgasm. That said, she cannot just ignore your desire for sexual intimacy and dismiss her lack of interest as ‘nothing’. If this guess is right, I imagine that you feel unheard and rejected. I suggest you tell her how you feel when she says no to intimacy and refuses to discuss it. Sexual feelings and boundaries are interesting. It might take several conversations to get over your mutual embarrassment and for her to finally figure out what her reluctance is all about. She might fear pregnancy, or she may not yet trust you to be faithful. Or she might simply want to take things slowly and allow both of you to get to know each other better.

As for the clitoral orgasm, new research suggests all female orgasms are indeed clitoral. 

I hope I have helped you. If not please write me again in plainer English.

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