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February 23, 2019

In love with a lesbian

“There is a girl I really love and I want her in my life, but she doesn’t want that simply because she is a year older and a lesbian. We go out to lunch, dinner… Please I need your help!”

Honey, I am so sorry. The pain of unrequited love is singular and unique. You waffle between adoration for the apple of your eye, and anger laced with a desire to hurt her as she is hurting you through her constant affectionate-meal-eating rejection. You live in a state of semi-horniness when you are around her waiting for her to touch you, and you watch like a hawk for any indication that she might love you too. It is a version of hell made just for you by you.

Because we all love attention and adoration, this woman might even flirt with you to keep you and your googly eyes around. We can all be very mean and cruel.

You have to choose to be kind to yourself and that starts by accepting what is happening, instead of what you dream or wish would happen. She is a lesbian, and this means she does not have sex with men, nor does she desire to. You say she doesn’t want to be with you “simply because” and I wish you would listen to your own words. It is simple: lesbians do not date men. She also does not date people who are younger than her. You cannot become a woman, nor can you age a year or two just to be with her.

She claims to be your friend, so how about you tell her how you feel and ask her to support you in changing your relationship. You should create some distance between you for a few months. Hang out with different people, have sex and share meals with others… and get over her in the process.

In a few months, or a year you might find that you can hang out with her and reshape your relationship in a new way.

Poll of the day