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February 22, 2019

Are today's men scared of strong women?

Are today's men scared of strong women?
Are today's men scared of strong women?

Verah can't seem to get a man because of her ‘strong personality’. Boyfriends tell her that she’s ‘too intimidating’ before breaking up with her.

My earliest memory of being in love was primary school. Clifford was a charmer – he was the brainiac of the class and an amazing athlete. He was one HOT 12-year-old.

At the time, I was the only girl who could cross the imaginary line of communication between boys and girls. I was seen as one of the boys and also as one of the girls. So I would pass love notes from Clifford to other girls in class (the delicate pretty ones – you know the type, right?).

But it was devastating for me. I would get my high-five from Clifford for passing his love letters and establish myself as one of the boys. At the same time, I wasn’t the girl any boy wanted to be with. That messed with my self-esteem.

After campus, every chap I had a semblance of a relationship with, would barely last past the second month. They would end up saying something along the lines of: “You are too opinionated, why can’t you be more like other chicks?”

What does that even mean? This would always confuse me. Because when I first met these men and we talked law, politics, philosophy, cars and the likes, that wasn’t a problem. In fact, that’s what they claimed to be the reason why they fell for me – 'my strong personality’.

Only later would they start saying that I should "tone it down". But I’m not butch. Nor do I beat my opinions into people. I never even yell! I just believe in intellectual conversation and was raised to defend what I believe in.

My longest relationship lasted six months before the bugger cheated on me. I walked in on him and another woman. He wasn’t even sorry. He laughed and continued ‘banging’ her. I was gutted and it still hurts. What’s wrong with me?

I believe in going home and cooking for my man, and standing by him through thick and thin. I learned this from my mum who’s a great wife. My mum also speaks her mind, and while my dad may not always agree with her, he loves and respects her for doing it.

So why can’t I get a man from my generation who appreciates a woman who stands up for what she believes in?

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