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December 17, 2018

Learning and growing with my children

Isn’t it funny how after a certain age time seems to stand still? I experienced that the other day when talking to my sister. She referred to some of our younger friends wanting to know how old they were and I went like “Umm about our age, 24 -28 there.” She burst out laughing before I realised what I had said. Twenty-four  and 28 were light years ago in light of how old we are now. Yet somehow, 24 seems like just the other day that is until I realise my son is turning 14. I honestly wonder how the time flew, I don’t feel aged (or should I say matured?) yet clearly chronologically time seems to keep moving. I realise that more and more with Thayu. At 20 months he can walk and communicate (perhaps not very eloquently but we get what he is saying) yet it seems like just yesterday he was lying on the Moses basket curled up.

On Saturday I went with him to visit a children’s home. I thought he would fuss and fight with the children over the toys but he did no such thing. Once when another child took a toy he was with, there was a little tussle but when I called him, he let it go without a fuss. On our way home, he got hot and pointing to the sun he said “Jua, hot, toa.” My friend was shocked as I proceeded to remove his jacket. She could not believe that he could make the connection between the sun and his feeling hot. Amazing how fast the human brain develops.

That is why we need to be careful what we allow to get into the minds of the little people as they grow. When Tony and I were dating, we once attended a parenting seminar where the speaker shared something that I remember to date. He said that a child’s world view is developed within the first five years of their lives. During this time whatever the child experiences is recorded in their mind as normal behaviour and synthesised to eventually form their schema (field of reference). He was talking primarily about abuse and trauma but I took the principle and translated it to the way I raised my children. This informed my decision concerning becoming a stay home mom with Tj and Toriah. It also informed my decision concerning my job choices with Thayu. I knew that no matter what I wanted to be near enough to be the primary influence in my child’s life particularly in the first five years.  I did not want to raise psychopaths or sociopaths.

So once more the Lord has given me opportunity to help write the first chapters in a little child’s life. I intend to start the story right. As they say, a head start is only a head start when it’s in the right direction. 

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