What can you do to improve your sex life? Don’t fixate on longer and more orgasmic sex. There’s a simple strategy that can work wonders, new research shows.
A good sex life and a satisfying relationship go hand in hand. But what exactly makes your sex life good? The media have us believe it’s all about the orgasm. And about having lots of kinky sex for as long as we can.
But enjoying sex isn’t only about intercourse. Perhaps good foreplay is what really makes for top-class sex? Or maybe it’s taking the time to cuddle and kiss after intercourse that really matters?
Canadian psychologist Dr Amy Muise had a hunch that cuddles, kisses, and caresses after sex make for more satisfying sex lives and rosier relationships. So, she and her team of researchers put the idea to the test.
The team rounded up more than 400 couples in two different studies to see whether it was the starter, the main course or the dessert that made the biggest contribution to a high score on ‘wonderful’? Well, the researchers found their hunch was right. For a satisfying sex life and relationship, quality affection after intercourse is more important than lots of sex, longer sex, or plenty of foreplay.
Let's be honest… isn’t all that lovey-dovey stuff after sex something only girls like? Guys are happy to hop straight out of bed and turn on the TV, aren’t they? Or just roll over and snore? Well, this stereotype is a myth, the study found. Men were also happier with their sex lives and relationships when they spent quality time with their partner after sex. And it’s a two-way street. “When one partner thought it was higher quality, the other partner also benefited,” says Dr Muise.
"Be a little less goal-oriented about sex,” Dr Muise recommends. “What might benefit your relationship as much or more is finding that time for shared intimacy.”