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February 20, 2019

Truly Liberated Mama

With Thayu I am learning parenting all over again, only this time I can relax and enjoy the process knowing that this too shall pass. I am less concerned with the mess the toys are making on the living room floor and more aware of the learning opportunity each scattered toy presents.

At nine months he has began trying to walk and it is quite amusing to watch the effort he puts in the whole process. Being a much anticipated baby, he was hardly put on the floor the first seven months of his life, every time he was put on the rug alone someone would come and scoop him up and as a result he never learnt to crawl, instead he rolls over and over as the preferred mode of motion. Sometimes I worry he will get dizzy.

The gap between Thayu and Toriah is 10 years; as a result both Toriah and TJ are quite protective of him. They are his self proclaimed ambassadors and Tony and I have to frequently remind them that we are Thayu’s parents and not some enemy force determined to hustle the baby. I remember once Thayu was fussing and I put him on the bed to cry it out.

Toriah came and found him crying on the bed next to me as I went on reading my book. He was really offended I am sure if he could, he would have taken the baby and moved to never ever land away from Cruella Deville — me. I had to explain that I was not mistreating the baby rather I was simply sending a message that we would no longer react every time the baby threw a tantrum. Trust me, the explanations meant nada to Toriah.

As a result of all the love and attention focused on him, I can see Thayu developing some attitude; little horns that will need to be pruned asap. For instance he has decided that he will no longer fall asleep unless he is rocked as you walk around the house (thanks to his dad). He has also learned all he has to do is whimper and everyone goes helter skelter to do his will.

Not so with mama; ooooh I have so been there before and am not dancing to that tune. I am the truly liberated mother, who learnt from his two predecessors that I have to establish boundaries early before I find myself dancing on a string like a puppet.

I refuse to be manipulated by the cute round face and the beguiling smile… for instance I refuse to be derailed from writing this article by my desire to run and hold him. Now I must really finish this article because despite all I have just said I must run and hold him.

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