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January 20, 2019

How long is long enough?

Valentine how long is sex supposed to last? The longest I have ever gone is 15 minutes but mostly I am at about 10 minutes.  Will my girlfriend dump me?


Wooiiii M!  Your question leads me to assume that you are young and have only started having sex recently.  The other day a male friend was remembering how young boys lie to each other and say things like "I was in there for two hours!"  We are still laughing at that joke, because surely, which woman wants to be pounded on for two hours?

Paullo Coello wrote the book 11 minutes.  It is about as prostitute whose pimp has figured out that each sexual transaction takes a total of 45 minutes.  The women work out of a club in a European city and within 45 minutes they are expected to meet and seduce the client, get him to a nearby hotel, have sex, clean up and make their way back to the club ready for the next client.  Actual sex should only take them 11 minutes.

We like to think that we have sex for a very long time and indeed when you are in it, it feels that way.  Men have heard that they must last long because that is what women want, and some women have been told that real men last forever. I think great lovers are turned on by their partner’s pleasure.

Is your girlfriend having regular orgasms within your regular 10 minutes?  Would she like sex to last longer because her second orgasm is more intense?  Would foreplay work just the same?

You are creating a sex life with this woman so why not speak to her and ask her what she likes.  This is not a forum to humiliate each other by listing what you think the other person should improve on, rather it is an opportunity to hear what your partner really values. What kind of kisses does she like?  Does she enjoy a light touch or your nails grazing down her back? What parts of her body are most sensitive to touch?  Most women do not enjoy being pounded on for hours in fact most of us don’t care how long you last as long as we are sated.

If you still want to last longer then you have to figure out what your stroke number is. If you remain in the same position you can only last so many strokes before you reach that point of no return. You want to change position or style of stroke before then. Alternatively you could stop moving and take a few breathes or kiss your woman for a few seconds. This will calm you down and allow you to continue. You could also try having sex to music and telling yourself you just need to last one more song. You can let the music distract you from your arousal.

Building your sex life takes time but M I am really glad you are asking questions. We should all take the time to learn how to have sex and how to bring pleasure to another person. Being a great lover is a skill worth having and congratulations M you are well on your way.

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