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January 22, 2019

They are the leaflets of our time

Kafico Club, Duruma Road
Kafico Club, Duruma Road

 I once saw one of those Facebook posts that we Kenyans love to share. In it, the author of the post takes God's role, and creates the most beautiful land on the planet; a country he calls Kenya.

However, because there is no such thing as a perfect world, this 'God' in His infinite wisdom gave the country the worst politicians. It is baffling when someone is bold enough to post such a treasonous message on their Facebook fan page, with no fear of getting jailed. Such posts are illegal.

But who cares if politicians, regardless of which part of the world they are from, are a bunch of selfish leaders. But in Kenya, it's much more serious. These guys are blamed for each and every single misfortune, but it does not stop them. They go on with life as if nothing is happening.

 If you are stuck in traffic, blame it on the politician you hate most. If your girlfriend dumps you for a better (worse in your opinion) catch, blame it on the politician that resembles your ex or her new beau. If you trip over a stone and hurt your toe, guess who is to blame? You got that right; the worst politician of the week.

Hate leaflets, which were circulating in some parts of the country last week, are just but an example of politics some politicians are usually involved in.

In a nutshell, the leaflets were threatening 'some illegal Kenyan immigrants' residing in the area to leave immediately or face unspecified consequences.

Let's not get into discussions about the composition of 'Kenyan immigrants'. With the migrations that have been experienced in the country for more than one hundred years, this had better be a story for another day.

 The leaflets are an important part of our national narrative that started with the introduction of the multi-party system, one of its worst.

Hate leaflets fuel ethnic tension, and are likely to trigger violence. Perhaps we might want to start putting leaflets into better use. It wouldn't hurt if we put more helpful messages on the little papers; only for information purposes.

 Let's start with the folks drinking in the evening. Football fans boozing while watching their favourite teams play in World Cup matches wouldn't mind receiving informative leaflets.

These leaflets would of course be informing the drinkers where cops with their breathalysers are at. With all the cautionary messages, Kenyans will be happy to share them without fear as it cushions them from paying huge fines.

 Besides guaranteeing protection from breathalyser, wouldn't it be nice to walk into a high-end pub and find leaflets promising reasonably-priced drinks? Isn't this a more positive role that leaflets should serve?

 The leaflets could come in handy for Nairobians looking for partners; whether for love or marriage. It is largely believed that if one is looking for a marriage partner, she or he stands a better chance of finding the right person from the bridal party at a wedding ceremony. The bridal party is said to be comprised of 'marriage materials'.

 Imagine how helpful it would be it would be if ladies sipping their cocktails at their favourite lounge espied leaflets under their tables detailing information on their weddings? You can be sure to find at their weddings, leaflets bearing photos of ladies in their finest outfits eyeing their husbands to be.

Another beneficiary of the revamped leaflet would be conservative parents. Those attending a Parents Teacher Association meeting to oppose the proposed policy to give condoms to students would be very happy to see leaflets at the 'offending' school instructing those supporting the proposal to leave. The leaflets would most definitely contain the list of schools where condom use is prohibited.


Venue Review: Kafico Club, Duruma Road


You know how Kenyans are obsessed with watching news, grinding everything to a halt at 7pm? Well, I encountered this when I was deep in Downtown Nairobi last Friday evening.

I had been running errands where long-distance buses are stationed when I realised that I wouldn't be able to leave town in time to watch Costa Rica verses Italy match. Therefore, I looked around and settled for Kafico Club on Duruma Road for a drink. It looked like a decent place.
As I settled in a seat at the centre of the joint facing a TV screen. A burly gentleman in a grey coat, white shirt and dark trousers walked towards me and asked if I had been served.

When I shook my head, he pointed at a waitress and then at my table. She came and took a cash order for my cold Tusker, which was retailing at Sh150. Not bad.

As I waited for my beer, I looked around and noticed all punters in the bar had their eyes glued to the screen. They were keenly following updates, on Citizen TV, about Mpeketoni attacks, in which victims narrated their ordeal to reporters. All TVs were tuned to Citizen besides one that was in a corner, which was airing the match between Costa Rica verses former world champs, Italy.
The pub is relatively small but is partitioned for punters to have some privacy.

The crowd was comprised of men; all women in the bar were waitresses. I don't know if this is the trend on Friday evenings. Guys in their late 20s to late 40s called this place 'their home'.
Despite being situated in downtown, where you would expect poor facilities, the gents were very clean. I expect the ladies washrooms were the same or even cleaner. The only downside is that the pub has one entrance and exit; not ideal for emergency.

A quick recap of the venue;

Good: Decent décor and service, reasonably priced drinks, TV for the sports junkie, clean washrooms.

Bad: No emergency exits, spooky location

My verdict: A good place to have a drink as you wait to board buses that travel at night.

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