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February 18, 2019

Who is paying for your upkeep?

LUSH: My hair when its done
LUSH: My hair when its done

I’m a self-confessed social media addict. Being an introvert (yes, I am!) I’m happier talking to strangers on the internet than putting up with people who just don’t get me at all. The other day, I was scrolling through my timeline on Twitter and I saw a thread about upkeep had popped up and was being discussed. There are, apparently, women who expect their man to pay for their upkeep. This was more about getting their hair done than anything else.

At first I was astounded. There is this generation of women who strongly feel that their appearance should be paid for by their man. Their lengthy visits to the salon are justified as an investment into the relationship – If I look good, he will want to be around me and if he wants me looking good all the time to show me off like a trophy to his friend he must pay for my upkeep.

I couldn't believe it. Is that how women nowadays think? What happened to good old-fashioned self-respect? You are a working women and yet you expect your man to pay for your hair?

At that point I realised I’ve been doing life wrong all these years. The last time a man paid for my hair was my Dad who used to fund my weekly visits to the salon to get my frizzy and very long hair blow-dried. After I got married, it was all up to me to sort my own hair out. The ex wasn’t the type to let me go spend time getting pampered at a salon so I learnt over the years to do my own hair.

Eventually I got a job and now I can afford myself the luxury of going to a spa or to go get my hair done. How does a man come into this equation that when I’m working, earning a salary and have the need to get my hair done, I need to turn to him? What utter nonsense.

Women smarten up. The conversation thread made me realise that women take a lot for granted. Some argued that if he is paying why are others getting jealous? It’s not a matter of envy. I feel it’s more a matter of pity because once that source of income dries up, and believe me, no man wants to spend the rest of his life paying for your hair and spa visits, what will you do then? You will look like something the cat dragged in on a wet night and abandoned at the corner of your house.

Wise up. Budget and keep money aside for your pampering. Have some self respect and earn it too from others by being self-sufficient and living within your means. I have horrible frizzy hair that makes me sob at best of times but I have learnt to look after it by investing in a good hair dryer and hair products. I have a fantastic hair stylist who pampers me when I go for a visit and I come out feeling fabulous. So don’t get me wrong. I understand why getting one’s hair done is important. What I don’t get is why someone else has to pay for you to get your hair done.

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