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February 19, 2019

No big deal: Don't die trying to enlarge it

HI Valentine,

Thank you for the informative articles that you write.  My penis is six inches long and I have a girlfriend who says it’s too small and that it should be eight inches.  I know of some medicines in the market that say they will "grow” your penis.  But I have also heard that they contain mercury therefore in future they can cause cancer and I would rather stay without sex  than have cancer in future.  Also I heard of a pro-extender machine.  What is it?  Do we have natural or herbal medicine for the same?  Kindly advise me on what to do before my girlfriend runs away?
Yours, Michael

Well Michael, first of all, ouch!  What your girlfriend said was mean and insensitive. I also think one of you is wrong.  Either your penis is not six inches long, or she does not know what eight inches is.  The average global penis length is just shy of six inches, which incidentally is the length of a 1000 bob note.  While each individual woman has her preference when it comes to men, which is why you come in all shapes, colours and sizes, there is no reason for her to tell you that your penis is inadequate.  When men say things like this to women about our breasts, butts or waistlines, we are quick to call them ‘jerks’ and other choice pejoratives.

All those creams, soaps and so called medicines are a complete hoax. They do not work, and even the ones that might get your penis to have a mild allergic reaction and swell up will not give you two inches.  I do not know if they are carcinogenic but they are a waste of money.

As for the pro-extender, you can google it and find a website that says they are on sale for Sh13,000 and they claim that by pulling your penis regularly you can make it grow in both length and width.  I asked Dr Mburugu at Aga Khan Hospital what he thinks and he laughed heartily and said, ‘I just came from a huge urologist conference in the US Valentine and if this was true it would have been breaking news.  An erect penis is held up by the triangular ligament.  If you cut this ligament during surgery, you can get an additional two inches but your erect penis will always face down and this will make it harder to have sex.  Alternatively there is complete penis reconstruction surgery but that is for extreme cases.’

Michael, I think you should work on accepting your body and working with what God gave you; and frankly, it is easier to replace your girlfriend than to undergo a costly surgery that leaves your erection facing your shoes.


I had an interesting conversation with a single dad the other day.  He has a three-year-old daughter and he said that though he bathes her regularly, he would not get into the bath tub with her.  I asked if her mother does and he said, ‘of course’.  He explained that he is uncomfortable with his daughter seeing him naked and would not even change in front of her.  This struck me as a little extreme. At what age do you think parents should hide their nudity from their children?  When should we start respecting children’s privacy regarding their nudity?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, please email me [email protected]

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