Valentine, there is a fantasy I want to try but my wife says it is disgusting and only prostitutes do it. I just want a strip tease. Is that bad? How can I get her to try?
Well Alex, it is not my place to declare whether or not a strip tease is good or bad. It is for your wife to decide whether or not she is okay with participating in an act that she might find degrading. There are many women who are not prostitutes, but they would strip for most men they were having sex with. And there are others like your wife who have attached such a negative value to the whole thing that the very thought of it makes her heart race, or her stomach turn. So how do you change her mind?
Your wife has decided that she is not a prostitute. It seems she, like most women, thinks she is better than that. She thinks the acts carried out by prostitutes are disgusting and she will not participate. There is however an act that she has in common with prostitutes and that is sexual intercourse. This tells me that to her, sexual intercourse and stripping sit in separate boxes. You have to find a way to remove stripping from the prostitution box and place it in the ‘wives can do’ box. You have to change her perception of the act.
First, recognise that this change in perception is a marathon, not a sprint. In the movies, people have aha moments, in real life, and especially when it comes to sex, we change our minds slowly. Now:
1. Delete and expunge the word strip tease from your vocabulary.
2. Every time you see your wife’s skin, make a point to kiss that body part and tell her how beautiful you think she is. Shoulder, elbow, knee or cleavage, give the same enthusiastic attention.
3. Make a big deal about watching her each time she is getting undressed, even if it is just for the shower.
4. Now take her dancing, complement her moves and when you get home make sure you do all her favourite things in bed.
5. Play some music when the two of you are having sex.
Complementing your wife’s beauty, her elegance and her graceful body will get you more of what you want and in a few months she will find herself stripping for you, not because you argued that it is not a disgusting act performed by prostitutes; but because you made it clear how much it turns you on, and trust me, women? We come to life when we know we can turn our men on, make them feel good and feel adored all at the same time.