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September 26, 2018

Man vs Machine in the bedroom

Valentine, I found out my girlfriend has a vibrator.  I don’t like it.  Is she trying to replace me?  Why does she need it?  How do I get her to throw it away?

Benson

Well Benson, as much as I would like to tell you that you are in the minority, you aren’t.  A lot of men and even women fear that sex toys may take away from their shared sexual experience.  Some men feel that the presence of a sex toy implies that they are under-performing or that their equipment is below par.  Years ago a woman told me that she feared a vibrator would desensitize her to what her man could do especially because there is no way he could get any part of his body to vibrate like the toy.

You are afraid that you can be replaced by this toy and you wonder why you and what God gave you are not enough.  First of all, you are not that easily expendable.  Women and couples who enjoy the use of sex toys report that they are a fun addition to their sex life, not a substitute for one.  Your girlfriend’s vibrator may move faster and apply more consistent pressure but it will never speak to her, hold her or laugh with her.  In fact thinking about you and fantasizing about what you do together is probably what makes using the vibrator fun.

Instead of insisting that she throw her toy away, why don’t you ask her what she enjoys about it?  You could even go a step further and ask her to show you what she does with it.  This might bring a whole new exciting element into your sex life as you get a front row seat to see a different side of your woman’s sexuality.  You could also use the vibrator on her so you are not just a spectator in this toy story.  You will also find that using the vibrator will allow you to witness her orgasm while you are not as turned on as you would be if you were in the middle of intercourse and having to control your own orgasm.  You will better be able to gauge her response to a different type of touch.  Try it Benson, this could be fun.

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This weekend is mother’s day and if you have no idea what to get for the mother of your children, how about a day off?  Every mother I speak to could use at least a morning off.  So why don’t you wake up about 30 minutes earlier, give your woman some oral pleasure and then take the kids out for the day?  Let her have a day to herself doing whatever she pleases while you exhaust your kids with a day of swimming or walking through Karura Forest?  Ask one of your boys to go with you and the kids.

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