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September 25, 2018

What is the ideal age gap for successful marriage?

Hi Valentine

I am a single mum of 42 years with a nine-year-old daughter. I have never been married.   Currently a guy of 39 with 15-year-old daughter has persistently expressed his love for me and promises to marry me. He has never been married.  I have met him twice and he sounds serious but the age difference is disturbing. The mother of the girl got married long ago and this guy only supports his daughter. Please what is your advice for me? 

Wairimu

 

Wairimu first of all congratulations for having met someone that you think you can create a marriage with.  You say that age is your biggest concern but it sounds to me like you don’t even know this man.  You say you have met twice?  It must have been the proverbial ‘thunderbolt’ for you to be thinking that you can spend your lives together.

There is nothing you or he can do about you age-gap and frankly three years is not huge.  I know three couples where the man is significantly younger than his wife and they have been together for years and seem fine.  One couple has a 15-year gap, another eight and yet another has a nine-year gap.  In light of those relationships, a three-year gap seems small. 

I suggest that you get to know this man before you even talk about marriage.  It is great that he has made his intentions clear and now you have to decide if you have enough in common in terms of values, interests and if you want to build the same type of life together.  Ultimately you will find that these things matter more than age.

 

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