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February 16, 2019

Am I normal?

Hi Valentine,

I have an issue.  I have a girlfriend who is far from me but every time we chat on phone, I become sexually aroused.  Is this normal?  Please help?


Aaaawww honey!  It is perfectly normal and completely involuntary.  In fact you must tell your girlfriend that just the sound of her voice has his effect on you.  She will take it as a compliment.


Valentine, you mentioned ovulation a few weeks ago, what is it?


Ellen I think you read my response to a man who wanted to know how to conceive a baby girl.  Anyway, in the most basic terms, ovulation is the release of an egg from a woman’s ovary and into the fallopian tube where it can then be fertilised.  This typically occurs 12 days before your next period.

During ovulation, you might notice other things about yourself.  You are sexually charged and it is easier to get you aroused.  You are in a great mood and you feel good about yourself so you even dress better.  You probably will not notice this, but even your face is more symmetrical and attractive.  Your body is trying to put its best foot forward, in a bid to get you pregnant. Two or three days later, ovulation is over and if you do not have sex and get pregnant, your body gets rid of that egg and you have your period.


I must say I am surprised by this week’s questions.  They indicate a lack of understanding of very basic biology.  It makes me wonder what is being taught in our schools and our collective retention rate.

Last week on the news, some study reported that about 70 per cent of our students do not know much about sex education, and the woman reporting this was urging parents to talk about sex with their children.  Having read these questions and many others in the years that I have been writing this column, it is clear to me that parents do not know that much, at least when it comes to biology.

There is something that parents can help their children do and that is form values and morals around their sexuality.  The media tells our boys that ‘real men are players’ and so they grow up pursuing multiple sex partners and hiding their feelings around that.  Our girls are told to pursue beauty and male approval above all else, is it any wonder we are raising vain and promiscuous women who will do almost anything to get a boy tot like them?

If you are a parent, please do not shy away from these conversations.  Listening to your children, asking them questions and having them respond will be awkward at first, just like all the other bog first in life – first day at school, first day at work, first date etc.  You and your child will soon get the hang of it though and be able to talk about all manner of things.  Try it I think you will surprise yourself and your kids will surprise you.

Poll of the day