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January 20, 2019

I am worried about my irregular flow

Hello Valentine,

My name is Olive and I am turning 20 next month. I have a problem with my periods and after reading your fertility series I am worried that I might not be able to have children.

I started having periods way back in high school but since then I have never experienced regular periods. Either I get periods twice a month or I stay for as long as six months without having periods.

When they do come, they are very painful. I once went to the hospital and was told I am still young so probably my body is still growing but now its worrying me. I then thought about pills didn’t want to be a frequent user and decided to leave them too. Please help me out?

 Oh dear Olive. This is very stressful. While our periods are not the most pleasant experience, their absence can make us very anxious because it is a clear indication that something is not working right.

I am not a doctor so I will not speculate but in conversation with the fertility expert I speak to regularly, Dr Wanjiru, she made it very clear that despite our age, our menstruation should be regular within one year of commencement. Olive, you are turning 20 so you should have regular periods.

 Go see a doctor and do not agree to be dismissed until you have discussed a clear course of treatment and you are getting your period between 10 and 14 times a year. You are right to be concerned especially because you want children. You could contact Dr Wanjiru at [email protected]




Valentine, I have a female friend whom I have been trying to date several times but she has refused. I feel she has a man apart from me. Am I right?


 It really doesn’t matter whether she has a man or not; the point here is that she has refused to date you several times. She may have a man, she may have six men or she may be a celibate virgin. She may simply be enjoying the single life and not want to be bothered with a boyfriend. All this is none of your business, move on.

 Rejection is hard to take and it typically brings out the ugliest side of us. You can choose to get fixated on a woman who has made it clear she does not want you in her romantic life, or you can be with someone who thinks you are wonderful. Pole Peter but let this one go.




A girlfriend was telling me and another friend how she massages her man’s feet when he gets home after a rough day. She is working so this is not a daily occurrence but she said that whenever she does it, it is better for their relationship than any date night. He relaxes and they talk and really connect. Foot rub for your man this weekend ladies?

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