The other day I had a conversation with a girlfriend about this really cute guy we know who cannot seem to ‘close the deal’ with women.
The guy is about 30, has a great athletic body, works hard and is pretty successful but he is constantly dropping the ball with women. Women will walk up to him and he will get tongue-tied and say something dumb or worse, talk too much. My girl was wondering what he does wrong and I said, "He should shut up!"
You should have seen her face as it lit up with realisation.
Guys this is what women do: we see you across the room, something about you is attractive, we smile, the forward amongst us even wave you over. You come over, we start a conversation and slowly we sift through our software and we find a fantasy file that you slot right into.
It could be ‘husband material’ or ‘French rugby player’ or ‘Jamie Foxx’ or a narrative like ‘I am the cougar and I’ll teach him a few things’. This filing happens very quickly and all you have to see is friendly flirtatious behaviour to know that you have been slotted into the ‘yes, I would sleep with him file’ . After that, stop talking and listen.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Yes ladies, not blowjobs in the morning and funny conversation. When you feed a man he gets to see you do these traditionally feminine things – cooking, serving, cleaning etc and that pulls at his heart strings as he inevitably envisions a life with him being cared for by you.
Guys, the way to a woman’s anything [and I may get shot for this] is through her ears. Do you want the panties to drop? Listen. Do you want her heart? Listen. Do you want her ATM card + PIN? Listen. Remote control and nights out with the boys? 'Tega sikio!'
It sounds too good and too simple to be true doesn’t it? Men are constantly talking their way out of our panties when all they have to do is be attentive and listen. Ask us questions about ourselves, our day, our dreams, passions, work… whatever just ask and listen.
If while you are listening you can make sympathetic noises, do. If you can offer a drink or a form of service [like fixing a car] that somehow makes our lives easier, dude you are in there.
Is it that we aren’t interested in what you have to say? Of course not, it is just that your interest in us confirms our long held suspicion that we are fascinating. Your rapt attention yanks you from a sea of nobodies into a small number of people who understand us and see us; and that is the greatest aphrodisiac. There is a reason women have been fawning over the ‘strong and silent type’ for eons. By the time we find out he really has nothing interesting to say, we are three babies and a mortgage in and as a naughty man said, we have gone too far in to pull out.