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February 21, 2019

Is Depo-provera affecting my libido?

Valentine, how does depo-provera affect sexual life? I am asking because it made me numb and insensitive sexually for two years.

Ruth M


Ruth two years is a very long time to be sexually numb and insensitive, especially because we take birth control so that we can have a good time during sex, and not have to worry about unwanted pregnancies. Pole sana but all these birth control methods have side effects and points of failure. The point is to find the one that works just for you. You are in luck; this Tuesday on The Chama [Kiss TV 8.30], the ladies and I will be talking to Dr Wanjiru Ndegwa about contraception so please join us and find an alternative to depo-provera. Trust me, there is a method that will work well for you.




Hi Valentine, Please help me? Girls complain that my penis is too big and they fear having sex with me. It is 10.3 inches but not so thick. What should I do? DM DM, you are living the dream! You have no idea how many emails I get from men wishing, praying and desperate to increase the size of their penises. Some have fallen prey to advertisements of soaps and creams that claim they can pull off miracles but to no avail. 10.3 inches? God gave you a gift DM, you just have to learn how to use it. The first thing you must do is get really good at foreplay. A two minute kiss and touching a woman’s breasts vaguely just won’t cut it. The un-aroused vagina is about the length of a woman’s fore-finger but once she gets aroused it stretches and lubricates to facilitate intercourse. Here are three not-so-obvious erogenous zones to focus on:

  1. Scalp – gently touch your partners scalp, run your nails over it, massage firmly or pull their hair in the heat of the moment. Ladies, you may have to lose the weave, if only for months of great sex.
  2. Feet – they respond best to firm touch. If you feel a little funny about feet, try washing them first, then giving a massage
  3. Stomach – try a light touch to begin with, especially as you get lower and closer to the genitals. Try a firmer touch on the sides because we are all a little bit ticklish.
  4. The butt – we know you love our butts… you talk about them, sing songs, write poetry and even dance. How about touching and kissing your lovers butt?

It’s not just for you, it will turn her on too. Now that your partner is aroused and ready for sex, strap on a condom and ask her to get on top so that she can set the pace and control how deep you get. You should also make sure that you have a tube of lubricant like KY Jelly handy at all times. As you said, you are having sex with girls and maybe you don’t know this but their hesitation is temporary. As you and your lovers grow in experience, your penis will become less threatening and more promising. Their eyes will light up in anticipation, not pop out in a panic. Let me know how this goes and I will suggest some more positions for you next week. We will will make a great lover out of you D.M J

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