So last week was ‘Don’t be that guy’ and as I promised, this week: Don’t be That Chick.
Ms Overshare – I know a woman who found her man’s friends at a barbeque and sat them down to regale them with tales of her man’s ‘bad’ behaviour. Later when she told me this, I was stunned at the breach in confidence and boundaries. I think she still wonders, now about four years later, why he didn’t marry her.
Ms Super-impressed – I never thought that this was an issue, I thought being impressed by your man should be par for the course, but apparently there is a limit and being super-impressed by what a man considers ‘kawa’ is a sign to him that you have different values or ambitions.
Ms Un-impressed – Yes, I know, it’s hard being a woman; a blasé ‘been there done that, threw out the T-shirt’ attitude makes you boring and quite frankly a liar. You may live to be 105, trust me, you still won’t have seen everything so allow yourself to enjoy new things and be real. Men like teaching women things, give them the opportunity to shine.
Ms Zero Passion – Maybe your parents refused to educate you past a certain point and you aren’t pursuing your dream of being a lawyer right now, but was that the only thing that you were ever passionate about? A lack of passion indicates a lack of self-knowledge and awareness. We are all passionate about something… dogs, books, food, dancing, singing, fashion… Chances are you will find your dream guy when you are in the middle of practising what you turns you on, and nothing is sexier or more attractive than a person lit up from within.
Ms Blame Game – My mother did, my father said, my sister decided… where are your decisions? Where is your responsibility for the state of your life? Responsibility is the beginning of empowerment; when you take ownership of your life, you can design it. Until then, you are a victim and sorry to say this but victims are downers, they don’t light up a room, and instead they suck the air out of it.
Ms marginally working – You are hard to spot because you could be doing anything from waitressing to sales and you might even be in junior management. You put in minimal effort at work and you are simply waiting for a guy with a plan to come along and take you on. He will buy the house, sort out your finances and do all the heavy financial lifting. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but this kind of financial vulnerability can put a real strain on your future marriage. Take the time and effort to find work that you enjoy and get good at it.
Ms I’ll get Pregnant – I know, it works, which is why this trick is as old as civilization, but c’mon, really? That’s your plan? I’ll get pregnant, he’ll marry me?
Ms Bad in Bed – There are skills that human beings, and especially women should have. Our orgasms are harder to orchestrate so please find out what gets you to yours? While you are figuring that out, take a chakacha or kizomba class and learn to move your hips and waistline. I firmly believe that many, many many marital problems can be solved by an agile waist.