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December 12, 2018

The soulmate secret

I don’t know if you have heard of Arielle Ford? She wrote the book, Wabi Sabi Love and is a huge proponent of The Secret; the book and documentary that talked about positive thinking and the effect that it has on manifesting that which you really want in life. Anyway, Ford has talked extensively about being single well into her 40s and using the skills that she used to create success for clientele like Deepak Chopra and Neale Donald Walsh (The Conversations with God series), to find her soulmate and marry him at 44.

 Anyway, a few years ago she created a seminar called The Soulmate Secret and may I start by apologising for not telling you about it when I first received her email telling me that she was offering it for free over the last nine days.

I am sorry. I have been remiss. I should have shared this with you, it is phenomenal. I told a few friends, and they have all given me rave reviews and had amazing breakthroughs about how they have been blocking love in their lives.

One woman hadn’t healed after a break up that happened 10 years ago; a male friend has been struggling to end a marriage in a way that leaves his children whole and still feeling loved and cherished by both parents; another guy has been wondering why despite being ready for marriage, he hasn’t met ‘the one’; and me? Hmmm….

 Over the nine days, Arielle Ford had several phone conversations with spiritual and thought leaders about what it takes to attract soulmate love into our lives. Particularly touching and moving for me were Marianne Williamson who started the course off with a prayer, Lisa Nichols who talked about ‘letting go of limiting beliefs’ surrounding love, Katherine Woodward Thomas who covered break-ups and how to not only do them well, but how to forgive ourselves and treat ourselves gently as we heal.

Other lecturers covered preparing our homes for love, speaking to our partners, letting go of negative thoughts and how to gain true mastery over our thoughts because they ultimately control our emotions and our actions.

 The thing that really hit home for me as I make my list of what I want my soulmate to be like and the qualities that I want him to possess, is that I have to possess those qualities and be what I want him to be like. I don’t think there is a single man out there going around with a loop in his brain that says “I want an angry, controlling and critical woman to spend my life with. If she can be needy and confrontational too, that will be perfect.”

 I am not these things on a good day, but if you catch me in the midst of my insecurities and fear… dude, that is all you’re going to get. So that is what I have to work on… taking a break when I feel vulnerable and afraid, being kind and gentle when I am delivering my ‘honest’ opinions, and being emotionally available. I also want an affectionate man so now I have to learn how to give and receive affection. If you see me and get an awkward and bumpy hug, please roll with it… I am in school here.

 The course is available online for about a hundred US dollars and despite having done it for free, I will buy it so that I can review the material from time to time. You can find it at

Perhaps you and your chama can buy it together and split the cost? Trust me, whether you are married, single or searching, you will find it poignant and insightful.

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