It is a joy to see one’s child growing up and learning to take responsibility. It is the ultimate reward in parenting. As my sons grow, and I begin to see the fruits of my labour manifest, all the hard work seems worth it. All the sacrifice seems worth it. Today morning, I was woken up by Toriah’s insistent knock on our bedroom door. “Mom, wake up. You need to come right now.” It was still pitch dark outside and I thought he was afraid and wanted to come into bed with Tony and I. That was not the issue at all.
He wanted me to sit up with him as he finished off his assignments. Over the Easter holidays he had been given a lot of take home work and he still had a few pages to go. With the festivities and all, he had not been able to finish on time and he had promised he would wake up early to do so. So here he was outside my door at some ungodly hour terrified that it was getting to six am and he would not be done on time. To be honest I really wanted to continue lying in, but my husband helped me realise the magnitude of what was happening and I organised myself to sit with him. My little baby was taking responsibility. The little boy who only a minute ago (or so it seems now) was a mere infant was now grown enough to rouse himself and get his work done.
I guess as they continue to mature this wow moments will continue to increase. Tony and I will gradually move from the role of pace setters to side coaches as we help them navigate through the waters of life. It is a role am both looking forward to and yet dreading. I look forward to more minutes to myself, less dependency and yet I moan the fact that it is also the end of a chapter. The chapter when mommy was the see all and know all; when mommy was not only the preferred option but sometimes the only option. I guess that is why I am so happy for the new baby. It is like getting a new lease, a second chance to do it all over again albeit much wiser.
A friend of mine asked me if I planned to stay home full time this second time round. I really don’t know. Right now I have a job that is flexible enough and I live right next to my office. For the moment that is enough. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. One of the things that I have promised myself this time round is not to sweat the small stuff; to look at the bigger picture. I may be much older and that comes with its own set of challenges, but I am also much wiser. I know now that this is simply a phase of life and I need to enjoy it before it passes by (which it does by the way and very quickly at that). I also know that while there will be some inspiring wow moments there will also be some mundane moments when life will look like one big round of baby feeds and dirty diapers. I also know that this time I will not be in a hurry to mark of the developmental stages or get a fit when I don’t mark of the exact date when the baby first smiled or sprouted a tooth. I now know that there will be greater moments ahead and stuff that can only be captured in memory.
I guess as my sons grow I too have been growing; granted from different spectrums, but growing all the same. And I am so thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to walk and grow in this journey together with these two amazing boys.