Third Trimester Sex

Hi Valentine,

I am so confused because my wife and has only one month until she gives birth but we are having so much sex.  I am concerned about my baby’s health.  Will having sex affect the baby’s health because sometimes I lie on top of her.

Marvin

Congratulations on becoming a father Marvin and also on the fun and vigorous sex life you and your wife are enjoying.  As far as I know, sex during pregnancy is perfectly ok and natural and some say exhilarating.  Doctors say that there is nothing wrong with having sex throughout pregnancy and in fact they sometimes recommend it when labour is delayed as an orgasm can stimulate labour.

Now given the late stage of the pregnancy, you may want to try positions in which you are not on top of your wife because she may be uncomfortable.  This is not really a health concern, rather a personal comfort concern.  If she is flexible and strong enough to bear your weight on her then I say go for it.  if not then you can try woman on top, doggy style or rear entry with both of you lying down. Follow where your libido leads you and again, well done Marvin.

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Dear Valentine,

I was so glad to read your piece on Friday.  My girlfriend just dumped me because I tried to go down there.  She said I was ‘immoral to have learned such tricks’.  Good to know there is nothing wrong with me.

Norbert in Nakuru

Norbert, there is nothing wrong with you, or your ex-girlfriend for that matter.  We tend to judge what we do not know, or what we consider different and when it comes to sexual expression those judgments are so easy to leap to.  You are not immoral, simply more sexually adventourous than your ex and that is fine.  Now you have one more question to ask before you hop into bed with someone ‘What are your views on cunnilingus?’

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So I have been receiving questions on children and sexuality for a while now and I would like to dedicate the month of August to the subject.  I have found a great psychologist and parent named Pascal Mwita and together we will answer your questions from a cultural and psychological perspective. What should you tell your children about their bodies so that they do not develop a complex?  How much detail is appropriate at different ages?  The porn industry is gunning for new consumers, what should you tell your children about it?  What is ‘good touch’ and what is ‘bad touch’? Condoms?  Should you discuss contraception? I would love to hear what your concerns are; what your successes have been and what makes you most uncomfortable in this realm.  What did your parents or elders do that really worked with you?  Talk to me valentine.njoroge@gmail.com