ALL THE FACTORS THAT CAN CAUSE PAINFUL SEX FOR A WOMAN

Dear
Valentine,

Does the lack of feelings towards a man cause pain during sex?
Sera

Dear Sera,

I really wish you had given me a more
detailed description of yourself and your circumstances with the man in
question, and also the pain. Is it sharp pain or a dull ache? Is it
brief or does it last for a long time? Do you have a history of sexual trauma?
Have you known this man for a while and your feelings changed recently? Or did
you pick him up in a bar and later realize you were not that attracted to
him? 
Generally, the most common cause pain during sex in women is a lack of arousal.

However, painful sex may be caused by a
range of factors, from the physical like disease, to the psychological. Painful sex is also a symptom of some STDs,
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, urinary tract infections and sometimes yeast
infections.

Also sexual trauma from your past may
impact your arousal such that you anticipate pain when you get aroused or you
think of sex as inherently painful.

Without all the necessary information, how
about you stop having sex with this man that you do not like and find someone
else?  Someone you like, someone who turns you on sexually?

Sex should not be a chore, it should be the
thing you cannot wait to do with a partner you cannot wait to touch. 

Dear Valentine
My boyfriend wants to try blow-jobs and I think they are disgusting.  What can I do about this?
Z

Dear Z,

You are too funny - you are having sex with
a man and you think that a vital part of him is ‘disgusting’. Do you think all oral sex is
disgusting?  Would you be ok with him speaking about you that way?  I am consistently surprised by the horrible
ways in which we speak about sex to our partners. The word ‘disgusting’ should
not be a part of your sexual lexicon. You can say no to activities that turn
you off or that you are not interested in; but do not insult each other.
I know a few men and women who do not like oral sex so you are well within your
rights to keep it off your sexual repertoire, but do not ruin your relationship
by using derogatory terms in reference to your man’s penis.

Dear Valentine
Where is the male G spot?
Zachary

Dear Zachary,

I was wondering when someone was going to
ask this question. Read carefully. If you run your finger from the base of
your scrotum to your anus, about half way through you will find a diamond
shaped soft spot called the perineum or in colloquial terms – the ‘taint’ as in
“It ain’t the butt and it ain’t the balls, it’s the taint.”

This little bit of skin is prostate
adjacent and just rubbing it results in lots of pleasure. If you are truly adventurous, ask your
woman to lubricate her little finger and insert it in your butt.

I hear that orgasms from this are
stupendous and you should be prepared to hand over all your worldly goods, your
heart and your mama as a personal slave to the woman who does this.

I am kidding, have fun and let me know how
it goes.

Weekend Sex Tip

I want to live in a city filled with orgasms and self-expression so to aid and
abet that, I have all manner of conversations.

Recently I spoke to a stripper and she gave
me three  tips on how to strip for your
guy:

1. Have fun – pick a song that you can really
dance to and forget choreographing your moves. Your man is just jazzed that you
are doing this.
             2. Tease him – do not take your clothes off quickly, wiggle your butt and then
pounce. Take your time and tease him, you know what he likes most and you have
an audience of one.
            
3. Look at him – this makes the dance personal and intimate. Smile so he
doesn’t feel intimidated.