Five reasons to use condoms

Last week I explored the question ‘Why don’t we use condoms?’ This was after coming to the conclusion that Kenyans are sexually corrupt. I asked you to be candid with me and tell me why you opt out of condom use. Your reasons boil down to five concerns:

1. You don’t like the feeling – to this I suggest that you try condoms that are made of polyurethane like Durex’s Avanti. Latex tends to be thicker while polyurethane is thinner and allows for more sensation. If you can find them you could also try Trojan’ Her Pleasure ecstasy. Tingle gel or condoms with either peppermint or spearmint will also heighten sensation.

2. They don’t fit me – am I the only one who remembers childhood fights with water-filled condoms? Your penis will fit, trust me. Standard condoms unfurl to eight inches in length and can stretch to a six-inch perimeter. If you are larger than that, I suggest you try Durex XL and the large version from other brands until you find your favourite. Please do not insist on buying large condoms for the hell of it, just like large trousers, they will slip off.

3. They smell and taste funny – really? All of them? Well, frankly sex doesn’t smell all that great if you ask me. For this I would suggest lighting candles so that the room smells great and get some flavoured lube. For some reason the smell of flavoured lube does not change as drastically as that of flavoured condoms.

4. Variants of ‘But you know me?’; ‘You don’t trust me?’; ‘I have been tested’ – let’s be real, we have sex with people within weeks, sometimes days of meeting each other. We have known Papa Shirandula for longer than we have known some of our lovers. Condoms are not about trust; they are about safe orgasms. We can talk about trust and what you want to bring into my body later.

5. Contraception is a woman’s responsibility – so much for ‘we are in this together’. This statement is so clear, I wish more men would say this - outside the bedroom - when everyone is still dressed. Ladies, let us buy our own condoms, let us learn how to put them on guys, let us develop a sexy routine that has them mesmerised so there is never anytime or opportunity for them to object. Let us own the condom moment. You will have to develop your own unique choreography but here is how you put on a condom:

· Look for the little gap in the packet lining and slowly tear the package apart.

· Pull out the condom and pinch the little teat.

· Place the condom on the head of the penis while still pinching then roll it down the length of the penis.

The issue here is the attitude that we bring to our sex lives. The question should not be ‘what is wrong with condoms?’ or ‘Please give me a reason not to use a condom?’ I think we should think of condoms as a vital part of our sex lives if only so we can continue to have sex for a long time. Technology has changed the condom industry and they are getting thinner and more intricate in design by the day. From flavour [fruity etc], to texture [ribbed, studded, ribbed and studded], thinness and even temperature, condoms have so much to add to your sex life. Rather than viewing them as a burden that you have to deal with, incorporate them into your sexual repertoire.

Are you married? Are you cheating? Is your partner cheating? Do you want to incorporate condoms into your sex life? I will tell you how, next week.