Hello, my name is Mwangi G and I have some confessions to make. Those who know me well might be taken aback by some of the following revelations, but as former Vice President George Saitoti said when his expectations of political succession changed dramatically: There come a time… (Of course, swept up by the emotion of the moment, his syntax was all over the place. I’m certain he meant to say ‘comes’, but there it is.)
There comes a time — a number of times, in fact — in every life, when we must re-evaluate our positions on things. In my case, one matter under review is the dogged question of household pets.
For most of my adulthood, I have considered pets to be very nice for other people but not quite my thing. Whoever said “a dog is for life, not just for Christmas” must have had people like me in mind. As well as preferring the independent and less demanding cats to the obedient but attention-hungry dogs, I never saw myself as the type of person that would allow a dog into his life and home.
Nevertheless, we recently acquired two most adorable puppies and, while I stubbornly refuse to go as far as some might do and refer to the puppies as “my babies” or any other such humanising term of endearment, I really have come to love the two terrors, especially when they are asleep.
Another matter under review has been my disdain for bubblegum pop acts such as Justin Bieber and One Direction, whose music I never thought I would listen to unless it was to mock it. This may be a passing fancy in the way that the relationship between King Senzangakhona and Nandi, the mother of the great Shaka Zulu, was described in the book I read about The One who Rages, way back in primary school.
However, and whatever the case, I have found myself humming to and even singing Bieber’s 2015 song Love Yourself and One Direction’s History. While I would be aghast to be described as a “Belieber” or a “Directioner, ” I think it was a genius move to sing the lyric Go Love Yourself instead of the much more crude suggestion that the subject of the song go and do the physically difficult if not impossible act of self-copulation.
As for History, it just sounds a lot more grown up and catchy than anything I have accidentally heard on the radio by One Direction. Of course, the two acts may return to form and this may just be a flash in the pan, but I would even go as far as buying the two CDs.
Finally, after years of preferring city living and flats or apartments to the suburbs and houses, I am finally ready to make the switch to suburbia here in Cape Town. I am actually looking forward to giving myself up to the calm of suburban bliss and getting away from the constant noise of sirens and souped-up car and motorcycle engines whizzing down the main road.
Now all these steps may be insignificant to some, but for me, they are about as momentous as the eventual repeal of Section 2A of the old Kenyan constitution, as recommended to the Saitoti Review Committee in 1990.
That said, if you spot me walking in a suburban park, cuddling my small dogs, wearing headphones and singing tunelessly to Bieber or One Direction, feel free to mock me as I would mock you — behind my back.
Follow me on Twitter @MwangiGithahu